So Crocogator didn’t win last night, but it was still a blast! Thanks to Channel 101 NY for screening it.

On a happier note, this. Just watch this:

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON

Out to get you to come to Channel 101 NY this Wednesday, that is. (Boom. Nailed it.)

Dustin and Dan created a five minute pilot called “Crocogator” that will be screened at Channel 101 NY, Wednesday 8/18 at 7:30 at 92YTribeca. You have to come to the live show to vote for us, plus the show is a blast, so we hope to see you there! More info can be found here.

E! Online is reporting that 30 Rock’s Grizzwald “Grizz” Chapman just received a brand spanking new kidney.

Grizz has been battling chronic kidney disease for that past two years and now is looking at a full recovery, if that’s what you call it when someone gives you a kidney.  At least I think someone gave it to him.  It’s possible that he just got fed up and took someone’s kidney, but that doesn’t sound like the Grizz we all know and love. (Dot Com on the other hand…)

Congrats Grizz!

If you are an improv nerd then today is the bestest day of the year.  The Del Close Marathon begins today at the UCB Theater (and a bunch of other locations as well.  Visit the site for more details.)  For the uninitiated, the Del Close Marathon is to improv nerds what the Playboy Mansion Lingerie Parties are to regular nerds: fun, unbelievably awesome and leaving you feeling very dirty at the end.

DCM12 will be three days of non stop improv.  It’s a bunch of great groups, late night craziness and at least one person that stays all three days who smells like a sewer.

For more info visit the website and do yourself a favor and check out a bunch of the shows.

To prove that if there is a divine being he has a dark sense of humor and therefor is like me and therefor I am partially divine,  KGW is reporting that a bunch of people dressed as zombies got into a car crash in Portland. It’s 2010 people, why did it take this long for people dressed as zombified americans to get into a car crash? When the paramedics finally arrived they thought the wounds were way worse then they really were and I’m sure at least one dude thought that zombie apocalypse was finally upon us (which it is not, but it’s coming people.  Get your shotguns and duct tape ready. It’s gonna be a bad one.  I hear this time it’s personal).  Don’t worry.  Everyone was fine, except for the whole being the living undead.

Can you hear that? If you listen real close you can hear the faint sound of the very last part of my childhood being bound, tortured and kill by the very last person who I have who I every thought would try to hurt me, Steve Urkel.  TMZ is reporting today that police are investigation Jaleel White of “Family Matters” fame for allegedly punching the mother of his child right in the implant, which I assume means he punched her in the boob because that’s where most people keep their implants. For serious, who punches people in the boob?  Allegedly Steve Urkel does..

Here’s what TMZ had to say:

Sources familiar with the police report tell us … the alleged victim claims White allegedly punched her in one of her breast implants while they were driving on Pacific Coast Highway two weeks ago, with an infant in the car.  We’re told, she claims when they got home White allegedly slapped her, and pushed her into a toilet so hard it broke the tank.

A rep for Jaleel tells TMZ, “There was absolutely no battery … no abuse … and the incident never happened.”

The rep continues, “This is just a ploy in an ongoing custody battle over their young daughter to tarnish his name.”

He should just blame it all on Stefan, oh wait, no I mean Jafan.

Our week of Friars Club fun concludes with Boston’s own Vanity Project. (Click to listen, right click to download)

Friars Club fun continues with our interview with Free Love Forum…(Click to listen, right click to download)

On July 11th 1804, Aaron Burr killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel. Two hundred years later, two improvisers imagine why.

We couldn’t fit all the Friars Club fun into the podcast so check out our interview with Code Duello. (Click to listen, right click to download)

America is so far behind the rest of the world.  We have poor a poor education system, inadequate health care and the mullet is still completely legal.  Well, according to gawker, Iran has solved at least one of those problems.  They are just the progressivist.   As of today anyone seen wandering around Iran all business in the front, party in the back is going straight to the big house (just as the good lord intended.) as are any other folks with “decadent western cuts”.  Wait, the mullet is a decadent hair cut?

If your planning a trip over to Iran and you just need to know if your flattop or your Adam Lambert glam cut will get you hard time you’ll have to wait for the Modesty and Veil Festival later this month (which I hear is totally the new Bonnaroo.  Get your tickets now cool kids).

photo from flickr by photonooner

This week we are reporting from the FrISC, which is the Friars Club Improv and Sketch Competition. 5 Sketch teams and 5 Improv teams went up against each other and the winner went home with $10,000 to make a short film that will be shown at the Friars Club Film Festival. Dan talks to Sue Constantine, executive director of FrISC, L.A. sketch team “The Midnight Show”, and (spoiler alert!) sketch winners “Harvard Sailing Team” and Sylvia Ozols and Zach Woods of the winning improv team “The Stepfathers”. And get an peak inside the famed Friars Club (well, it’s audio, so I guess that would be a whisper inside?) We have more talks with other sketch and improv teams from the competition we’ll be putting up on the website all week, so be sure to come on by and check ‘em out!

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

Louis CK kicked off his new show last night and it got it so much righter than Lucky Louis.  The two episodes that aired were funny and even at certain times touching.  To me the big problem with Lucky Louie was the chemistry that was suppose to be there and wasn’t.  Louie is all about his lack of chemistry with the rest of the world and it works perfectly.  If you are a fan of Mr. C.K. stand up then you will already be pretty on board.  The show bounces back and forth between him performing at the Cellar and Carolines (I keep seeing his tweets about being in the audience for those like 10 minutes too late) and scenes from his “life”.  While I thought the show could have been a little bit more cohesive it made up for it some heart breaking and hilarious honesty.  Also he showed his ass crack right there on the first night, so you gotta give him credit for that.

I was looking for a project for this summer and I’ve decided that I am going to read the book “Twilight” and report back to you folks here about my experience. Why am I doing this? One, I am so far away from the target audience, and I want to see what it is like to read a book that is not, and never was, intended for me. When I watched Monty Python for the first time, despite the humor being largely universal, there are still references to 1960’s British life that I had no understanding of. I maintain that I actually had a better experience,  than the people who originally watched it. The show was already so weird that these seemingly random allusions to what I assumed to be invented people, places and culture movements made it seem like it had been beamed from some distance planet. (I mean really, Stratton-upon-Avon? There was no way that was the name of a real place.) So will I find things in “Twilight” that were not intended? There’s only one way to find out.

Secondly, I am a huge fan of passing fads. Ephemeral media whose popularity burned blindingly bright, only to be wadded up and tossed into a garbage can across the room. No matter how we want to remember it now,  Kris Kross and Crash Test Dummies were just as popular as Nirvana and Pearl Jam. And there ain’t a goddamn thing anyone can do about that. So I want to jump into a passing fad as it zooms by. Am I wrong about “Twilight”? Will it be a Pet Rock or the new “Wizard of Oz”? Only time will tell, but as I dive in, I’ll talk about what I think it’s chances are of holding on.

Which leads me to what I do know about Twilight. It’s not much, I haven’t actively avoided it, but I haven’t actively avoided the latest Algerian elections and I don’t know much about those either. Both just don’t come up too much in the circles I run in. Here is what I do know:

• The books involve vampires.

• These vampires glow in the dark.

• The main character’s name is Bella.

• Bella falls in love with a vampire, but they break up, presumably due to the pressure of he being a vampire and her not.

• Bella also falls in love with a werewolf.

• At no point does she fall in love with a mummy, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, or the Leprechaun from the movie “Leprechaun”. At least not that I know of.

So what will I learn on my journey? Will I fall under the spell of the story of a love that dare not speak it’s name or go near garlic? We’ll see. Check back here for the first installment next week. See you then!

Comedians Ben Kissel and Adam Wirtz have been hard at work at a new web series called Ben’s Shit List.  Think The Daily Show.  Think Tosh.O.  Think The Soup.  Now stop thinking and start watching because it’s really funny.

Sketchfest NYC 2010 has come and gone. You tell yourself to just relax and enjoy it, but it’s hard to stuff that much fun into a single weekend and before you know it, you are waking up a little hungover with aching stomach muscles and smelling vaguely of cigarettes and a McDonald’s dumpster and Sketchfest is over. But we did our best to capture as much of the magic as we could in our own fleeting way through the power of some microphones, a Macbook, and maybe a little something called The Power of Love (or maybe it was “I Want a New Drug”, it’s hard to remember). So sit back and listen to these interviews with sketch comedy powerhouses B.O.F., Two Man No Show, FUCT, Team Submarine, and Audience of Two and keep the spirit alive. Remember, it’s only 362 more days until next year’s Sketchfest!

Don’t forget to check out interviews with Fearsome, Two Fun Men, and Dave and Ethan at thecomedynerds.com.

Last night Sketchfest NYC came to end with a huge party of sketch, drinking and debauchery.  We tried to stay sober enough to bring you a recap of all the great comedy.  Groups included Dave & Ethan, Germans. Pangea 3000. Free Love Forum, Rue Brutaila, Elephant Larry and MURDERFIST.

Click Here to listen to our audio recap of the evening and our interview with Dave and Ethan.

Sketchfest NYC continued last night and again it was packed houses and awesome shows.

The groups included 2 Fun Men, New Excitement, 2-Man No Show, Long Pork, Fearsome, Last Call Cleveland, Dirty Jeans and Thunderchief, The always amazing Kimmy Gatewood and FUCT.

Click Here to listen to our audio recap of the entire night and our interview with 2 Fun Men.

Sketchfest NYC kicked off Thursday evening and we were there and apparently so was everyone else.  The UCB Theatre was packed for every show and the groups delivered.

The awesome line-up included BOF, Harvard Sailing Team, Audience Of Two, Sidecar, Livia Scott, Mace Bacon and a bunch of rockin’ musical comedy acts.  The highlight of the night was SNL alums Tom Davis and Chevy Chase who shared some great personal stories.

Click Here to listen to our audio recap of the entire night and our interview with Fearsome about their new show Grease 3: Threace

TMC, CKC, Beena Steena and Oasis are back at it again.  It’s called How To Make A Hip Hop Hit 101.  If you didn’t know now you know mother f’er.  Turn up your speakers, pour some PBR on the floor of your studio apartment and get ready for some Trizzle Threat.  Also, I am pretty sure they will be at the Sketchfest NYC’s Sketch Rocks music show tomorrow at 11pm so go see them live.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtWu0mhuTkM

Some of the best sketch comedians in the country are coming to the UCB theater this weekend for Sketchfest NYC 2010 and for the second year in a row we will be there to cover all the action.  We’ll talk to the groups, recap the shows and babble on endlessly about our love of good sketch comedy.

Check out the line-up and get tickets here then come back here each morning to get our take.

Thursday, June 10
7pm Best of Friends WITH Harvard Sailing Team
8pm Audience of Two WITH Sidecar
9pm Live and Let Livia WITH Mace Bacon: Worst Guy Ever
10pm Tom Davis: 39 Years of Short-Term Memory Loss
11pm Sketch Rocks: The Music Show

Friday, June 11
7pm Two Fun Men WITH New Excitement
8pm 2-Man No-Show WITH Long Pork
9pm Fearsome presents Grease 3: Threase
10pm Team Submarine WITH Last Call Cleveland
11pm Dirty Jeans & Thunderchief WITH Kimmy Gatewood: 3000 Miles to Figure it Out
12am FUCT

Saturday, June 12
7pm Dave & Ethan WITH Germans GET
8pm Pangea 3000
9pm Free Love Forum WITH Rue Brutalia
10pm Elephant Larry
11pm MURDERFIST

If you are looking for a new home to raise a family have I got place for you.  It’s already getting a lot of buzz from the Wall Street Journal:

“Pristine, charming 3-story, waterfront…with beautiful views.” According to the listing agent, recent improvements include a renovated boathouse, central air and a deck and patio.

Yeah, so it’s the Amityville Horror house where a bunch of people where killed.  But hey, what house doesn’t have bleeding walls these days?  That is why the 1.5 million dollar asking price is totally fair.  Think about it.  The house has the frickin’ gateway to hell in the basement.  It’s walls talk to you in your sleep and make you want to kill your family and it’s still going for 1.5 million.  If that doesn’t say end of the recession I don’t know what does.

On this week’s episode we talk about the television upfronts. Every year the networks put on a big show and present what they have coming in next year. “It’s a family that gets super powers! Ta da!”  It’s all for the advertisers, but we peek through a hole in the fence Little Rascals-style and give you who-that and the what-for of the coming TV season. What new shows will premier? What beloved favorites are canceled? What shows will start a half hour earlier then they currently do? Can you feel it? Taste it? This is the new excitement.

Also? Tom Selleck buys a helicopter and water balloons. A talking dog with shifty eyes. And we say CougarTown a lot. I mean, like, a lot.

photo from flickr by same_same

I don’t know who made this, but if someone informs me, I will happily give them credit. I do know that the responsible person is awesome.

Word came late last night from deadline.com that the big wigs over at Comedy Central have canceled The Sarah Silverman Program.  While I have to admit in full disclosure that I stopped watching the show midway through season 2 because Sarah seemed to cartoonishly unlikable to allow for the story to have any meaning I will still miss the show.  It was good to finally have a gross female voice on TV.  We’ve had plenty of Al Bundy’s and Archie Bunker’s on TV to bring us a man saying terrible things only to learn a lesson at the end (only toforget it immediately at the start of the next episode), but Sarah was one the first female voice that I can remember to do that.  It was brave and often very funny.  Did it step over the line sometimes?  Sure, but she was breaking new ground (yes, through poop jokes) and I admire her and the show for it.  Sorry to see you go Sarah.

There are some questions that are impossible to answer:  What is the meaning of life? How do you define beauty?  Why is Betty White So Awesome?  In this episode we try to answer at least one of those questions.

Her Facebook induced SNL appearance was one of the most anticipated episodes in recent history, but why?  Could anyone else have created such a buzz?  Let us know what you think!

photo from flickr by The Enabler

The White House Correspondents Dinner was this evening and in an attempt to stay super bland they invited Jay Leno.  Although I am not sure why since President Obama is so clearly on Team Coco.  Here’s what he had to say:

“I am glad that the only person whose ratings fell more than mine is here tonight. Great to see you, Jay. I’m also glad that I’m speaking first – because we’ve all seen what happens when somebody takes the time slot after Leno”

From what I’ve heard that got a bigger laugh then anything Leno said all night.

So after everyone and their mother posted the clip of Nick Madson stealing Patton Oswalt’s material yesterday Nick posted a reply.  This was his response:

Mr. Oswalt.

I would like to sincerely appologize [sic] to you for everything that has transpired in the last couple days. It is not now, nor was it ever my intent to make a career for myself, or to profit by telling other comics jokes. I understand the work that goes into making something your own, and the pride that one takes in that.

I want to let you know that I was not trying to build a career for myself by telling jokes that you and others had written. I was trying to put together a little show for my good friend, to possibly try and raise some money for his theatre that he is still in the process of getting off the ground. Without a lot of time to prepare for said show, I decided I would pull some of my favorite bits together from comedians I admire, to create a funny performance that might raise some money for his theatre. I did not want to be taped, and I did not want to become a youtube [sic] star, and was not looking for my 5 minutes of fame (however negative). I should have informed the Hilltop Theatre owners that I was going to do a performance made up of jokes and bits from my favorite performers.

Please know that I do not travel around the country telling your jokes. This was a performance that I did as a fundraiser for a crowd of about 12 of our friends. I know this appology [sic] does not take anything back, and does not by any means make anything right. I do not know what I can say, or exactly how to appologize [sic], as I have no personal manager or any one to consult with about my first public scandel [sic]. I hope you can trust I will not go around telling your jokes, and I am sincerely sorry that all of this had to happen. I wish I could take it back and do things differently, but I cannot.

My Deepest Appologies [sic]

Nick Madson

The only problem is that the apology much like Nick’s act is a complete and total lie.  Patton checked and it turns out the it wasn’t a fundraiser, he was paid, he never told anyone he was stealing and claimed it was for a special he was taping later this fall.  WOW!  Dude.  This is bad.  You should not talk any more.  Just stay down.  Here is Patton’s full reply.  You will want to take a read because it is awesome…and frankly I want to make sure I give him as much credit as possible so he doesn’t go after me too.

A comedian stole a bunch of Patton Oswalt’s material and tried to pass if off as his own.  That’s a bad idea.  Like a really bad idea.  He’s not happy about it either.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=twW8GgrbWwc

Just when you thought it was dead and went out like it should, word comes out today from Deadline.com that HBO has picked up Curb Your Enthusiasm for a ten episode second season.  Love the show.  Hate the idea of them holding on too long.

This week we recorded the show live on the internet and listeners wrote in to comment. We’re going to do it again soon, so if you’d like to listen and talk to us and other Comedy Nerds fans, watch this site and we’ll let you know the next time we go live!

We welcomed Comedy Nerds favorite Nick Turner back to talk about Conan O’Brien’s decision to move his show to TBS, land of Tyler Perry and “Just Shoot Me” reruns. Is it a bad idea? Or is it so crazy it just might work? And if it does, what will that do to your DVR queue? Oh, the trials and tribulations of the modern person…

Plus! The birth of Jazz Legend, and the death of nerdy character Nick Turner. The sexual orientation of Dan’s laugh. And universality of Channel 9.

In a move that literally no one saw coming Conan is headed for TBS this November, which as you know is “very funny.” The show will start at 11pm and the super awfulness that is Lopez Tonight will move back to midnight. First reactions: Happy Conan is coming back. Second reaction: You mean the reruns of Family Guy and The Office network? I think this move represents a 25% increase in TBS’ original programing. Third reaction: Conan is going to basic cable and not going to Comedy Central? Someone screwed up there. Even Conan was quoted as saying: “In three months I’ve gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theaters, and now I’m headed to basic cable. My plan is working perfectly.” Also, the show will now be presented by Tyler Perry.

This Wednesday we are going to streaming the podcast live on ustream.tv and right here on the site.  If you’ve ever wanted to join in on the conversation, yell at us for things we missed or just ask us a question now is your chance.

We’ll be starting the show at 7:30 pm eastern time on Wednesday April 14th.  You’ll be able to comment on the site and we’ll respond to whatever you say as we go (except things that reference sexual acts and our mothers/fathers/wives) and if it works out we may even invest in a hotline to have people call in during the show.

UCB awesome dude and close personal friend of Diddy Chris Gethard has been cast as the lead in a new Comedy Central series along side Chris Parnell and Horatio Sanz.  The series was originally set to star Jon Heder of Napoleon Dynamite fame but Heder left over creative differences.  His differences are our good fortune as Chris Gethard is one hilarious and super nice dude.  Congrats Chris!

I remember when I was a childhood performer in my elementary school we always had to perform lame songs like If I Had A Hammer and Singing In the Rain (we didn’t have plays at my school, just musical chorus crap).  My most jealous moment as a fourth grader was watching a friend’s school recital where she got to performed We Build This City by Jefferson Starship.  I always thought, why can’t we do something cool.  Something real.  Something gritty. Something like Huey Lewis and The News.  We were 10.  We were ready for it!  But this…I mean…wow!



www.youtube.com/watch?v=uovMpapeCJQ

Jon did a LONG (in Daily Show terms) Glen Beck impression/parody last night and every moment of it is awesome.  No more talking.  Just watch!

Ann Carr is a super talented comedic actress and she’s making a damn good web series called appropriately enough “The Actress” and I highly recommend checking it out.  I’ve seen a lot of web series type things and this is one of the best.  So many of them turn into these loud farty, quick hitty, contrived pieces of crap.   This is not that.

This is a smart, subtle, funny and kind of real look at the struggles of trying to survive as an actress in New York City.  Below is episode 2 (you can find episode one here ) and look for episode 3 coming out mid-April.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa-4NBJbRxc

The good news just keeps on coming for Comedy Nerds favorite Baron Vaughn.  It was reported last night that USA picked up “Facing Kate” with Baron as a regular character.  If you are not already a huge fan of the dude you soon will be.  He’s one of the most talented and nicest guys in the business and I look forward to seeing him on my TV.

If you haven’t already experienced the brilliance that is Reggie Watts then stop it!  Reggie Watts is  funny and absurd and very unique and you need to letting him make you laugh.  Check out this video to promote his upcoming album and DVD “Why Shit So Crazy?”  But we warned it is just as not safe for work as it is awesome.

The comedy contingent of Bonnaroo was announced today and it is frickin’ awesome.  I would be wiling to sell a semi-vital organ to to these shows.  First off, Conan O’Brien!  Do you even need a second off?  Fine, if you are going to be greedy about it here is the full line-up including Comedy Nerds favorite Baron Vaughn:

Conan O’Brien
Margaret Cho
Aziz Ansari
Jeffrey Ross Roasts Bonnaroo
Greg Giraldo
Bo Burnham
Doug Benson
Nick Kroll
Paul Scheer
Rob Huebel
John Roberts
Baron Vaughn
Chelsea Peretti

Conan will be performing and hosting two of the nights.  Bonnaroo is June 10th-13 in Manchester, TN.  You can order tickets here.  Feel free to get tickets for me as well.

One of the most annoying things about running a comedy show (other than finding a venue, booking guests, promoting the show and finding a tech person) is keeping track of times for comedians and giving them the light.  Perhaps it’s because I am crazy necrotic but I end up getting so caught up in timing that I have a tough time enjoying the show.  There must be something someone can do to help me!

Oh wait, there totally is.  A comedian/software engineer from San Francisco named Toby Muresianu felt our pain and made an app for the iPhone called “The Light”.  Let’s be honest, it’s rare that a comedian has any other useful skill to offer society so we all really lucked on this one.

The App lets you set a a countdown timer and then reminds you at fixed times when the comedian’s time is almost up, then it lets you give them a bright light with the time left.  It’s a super convenient app for any show producers and best of all it’s free!  So click here and download it to your iphone.  And tell’em Dustin sent ya.  They won’t know who the hell that is so it will be a little awkward but fun.

The lovely Betty White has finally confirmed that she will be appearing on an upcoming episode of SNL accoring to People:

When asked by PEOPLE, “Are you doing Saturday Night Live,” she answered, “Yes,” even if she remains perplexed by the groundswell of support.  “I don’t know why or how,” she says, “but it’s been wonderful.”

Why were we all supporting you Betty White?  Because you are fun cool lady who still gets it. And lets be honest Betty, you’ve always been at your best when you are a bit naughty (don’t read anything sexual into that you pervs.  Okay maybe a little) and SNL knows that and will have you doing awesome things (I vote for making out with Jenny Slate or doing Really? with Seth and Betty).  Plus you’ve made us laugh since…well, pretty much as long as anyone who is reading this has been alive.  I can’t wait!

This week’s episode of The Comedy Nerds is filmed in front of a live studio audience. Okay, not really but we did discuss that strange beast known at as the studio audience. A group of strangers you can’t see who have been carefully primed to laugh and cheer at everything you say and do.

How do you avoid becoming spoiled by this? Can you tell the difference when they applaud for you, and when they applaud just because the “Applause” sign lit up? Oh it is a conundrum, I’ll tell you that.

Plus! I’m not out of order! You’re out of order! It’s my football now! A break in our Cold Case! And once a upon a time, someone got kicked by a pony.

photo from flickr by Your Secret Admiral

Hey, remember that void left by Conan being off the air? Remember how we all need something awesome in late night to make up for the vortex of unfunnyness that is Jay Leno?  Well, I think after a year on the air Jimmy Fallon is finally proving he can be that awesome thing we need.  Yeah, the dude kicked off his first episode paying people to lick things for money.  I remember that.  But that was one year ago.

Last night he made up for everything by reuniting the cast of California Dreams.  Some people might have forgotten about them entirely.  Others may never have known who they were in the first place.  But for the vast vast majority of us who still have a poster of The Dreams on their wall or who relentlessly try to convince people to call them Sly so they can be cool 90′s style this was moment that will be remembered FOREVER!

Thank you Mr. Fallon.  Thank you cast of California Dreams.  Thank you Peter Engel for making all those wonderful shows about teenagers getting into hilarious situations (What up City Guys and Hang Time!). Most of all, thank you nostalgia for making these shows way more entertaining in my memory then they really were.  Check out the video below of them rocking the world with the California Dreams theme song.  On an unrelated note, has anyone seen my AARP card.  I though I left in next to my pills.  Who are you again?

Stephen Colbert finished his amazing coverage of the Vancouver Olympics last night with an interview with Olympic Gold Medalist Shani Davis.  NBC’s Al Micheals said he would repeat his famous “Do you believe in miracles?” line if after winning Gold Shani Davis said thank you Stephen.  Well folks, it’s time to start believing in miracles! And aliens!  For entirely unrelated reasons! Or at least that’s what they want you to think!

Andrew Koenig’s body was found today in Stanley Park in Vancouver, British Columbia. It appears he took his own life. You can read more on cnn.com and watch the press conference.

I can’t tell you how much I hate that this is how the story ends. My heart goes out to his friends and family.

First they came for Transformers and I did not speak out because the show was already ridiculous.

Then they came for G.I. Joe and I did not speak out because Marlon Wayans needs the work.

Then they came for Speedy Gonzales and I told them to go F*&K themselves because that’s a stupid f*&king idea.

Reuters in reporting that George Lopez has signed on tobe the voice of Speedy Gonzales in a new movie by New Line Cinema.  Correction the new lest racisty Speedy Gonzales.

“We wanted to make sure that it was not the Speedy of the 1950s — the racist Speedy,” said the comedian’s wife Ann Lopez, who will serve alongside him as a producer. “Speedy’s going to be a misunderstood boy who comes from a family that works in a very meticulous setting, and he’s a little too fast for what they do. He makes a mess of that. So he has to go out in the world to find what he’s good at.”

That path becomes clearer once Speedy befriends a gun-shy race-car driver.

Now before you go thinking, wasn’t the original Speedy Gonzales cartoons (which apparently won a flippin Academy Award) kind of boring as it is?  Won’t it be difficult to make such a repetitive and simplistic character into a full length movie?  Don’t worry because “Garfield scribes Alec Sokolow and Joel Cohen will write the script”.   So as you can see it’s in good hands.

Also, didn’t Family guy already do this…(warning, clip is super low quality)

I guess we should have know we couldn’t have kept him for ourselves forever.

Friend of The Comedy Nerds, Michael Hartney is co-hosting a show at the UCB Theater NY along with the wonderful John Flynn. It will be this Saturday at midnight. You should go, unless you want to miss out on something awesome. It’s going to be a gay old time! The Same Sex-tacular!

You can hear Michael discuss the show on the UCB Theater podcast, which is fantastic and is hosted by the equally fantastic Will Hines and John Frusciante. You can find that here: Competing Podcast!

Fierce!

See what I did there?  Shot – Archer.  Yeah…  Anyway, the Hollywood Reporter is reporting that FX picked up Archer for 13 episodes of season 2.  I’ll admit it, I wasn’t a big fan of the first episode and almost didn’t watch on.  But I knew…I knew that H. Jon Benjamin was not going to lead me astray and I was right!  The show got a lot better.

If you haven’t checked it out (or are like me and are silently protesting FX for no other reason than that it feels weird to consider them a real channel even though they have plenty of good and popular shows) you can watch the first 3 episodes on Hulu (maybe skip to “Diversity Hire” if you are quick to judge).  I’m sure you will think Archer is a hit!  That was too much wasn’t it?  I was forcing that one and you can totally tell.  I’m sorry.  You deserve better.

On a very serious note, please read the following from Dave Holmes blog:

“Andrew Koenig (AK-47, the video guy on “Never Not Funny,” and “Boner” from “Growing Pains”) has been missing for a week, last seen 2/14 in Vancouver. Didn’t make his flight back to the US on 2/16. The Vancouver Police are involved, and lots of people are looking. Could you reblog this and help get the word out? And say some prayers or think some positive thoughts?”

Please don’t think this is a joke because of the names.  If you hear or see anything please get the word out.

UPDATE:  From the Comic’s Comic
Jenny Magenta, whom Koenig had been staying with in Vancouver before his disappearance, posted a message last night on Facebook, that read in part:

“If you have seen him, emailed him or had any contact after the 14th/15th or spent time with him during his stay in Vancouver and the police HAVE NOT contacted you yet, please call Detective Raymond Payette and his phone is 604-717-2534 and provide the information you have. Please do not call 911.”

Dude?  Sinbad is back.  No.  I’m serious.  He’s going to be on Comedy Central this Sunday.  No.  Calm down.  Calm down.  He’s not going to be in a movie.  It’s just a stand-up special.  Yeah, I think he totally realizes he’s been MIA for like a decade, that’s why he called his special “Where U Been?”.  No, he dresses like a normal person.  I agree.  I thought he would too.  He’s in like normal clothes. Yeah, I totally agree, he could be a little hack from time to time but generally he had some funny jokes.  Yeah, I’m curious to see how it is too.

I’m sorry, what was that?  Screw you.  You can’t talk to me like that even if you are a person I made up in my head.  Yes, I did make you up in my head.  No that doesn’t make me crazy.  No it doesn’t.  What?  Yeah.  So what?  Some things do need to get set on fire and yes I find the flames both beautiful and strangely erotic.  That’s normal.  Can we get back to Sinbad’s special this weekend.  Fine.  Well, I am going to watch.  And I am not crazy!  To prove it I am going to write “I’m not crazy” on my wall 3,000 times in my own blood and then we’ll see who needs to go back on him medication you stupid in my brain person.  Or are you real…  I better go.

Captain of PR stunts and hero of the US Speed Skating team* Stephen Colbert  dropped by the NBC studios last night to talk with Bob Costas. You can check out the interview here.  I’m pretty sure this is the first time I have ever seen Bob Costas actually laugh.

And listen, I’m not saying that Stephen is a witch, but at the end of the interview he climbs in the fire in the back of the studio and comes out completely fine.  Proof of lack of authenticity at the NBC studios or proof that Stephen can’t be killed?  You decide.

I personally prefer to think that Stephen sacrifices a goat to a three horned God of War every night before he goes to sleep in his footy pajamas and has been granted immortality and the ability to read women’s minds Mel Gibson style.  But that’s just me.

*because of his amazing assistant sports psychology not his money.

The ECNY Nominations were announced this afternoon Kumail Nanjiani and Kambri Crews and ran live on Ustream.tv all Oscars style.  And oh yeah, we totally got nominated for Best Website.  You can vote here (and please do).  Did I mention that all the other nominees are pro communism because they are.  F’n commies.  Here is the list of all the nominees:

Best Female Stand-Up
Claudia Cogan
Katina Corrao
Morgan Murphy
Giulia Rozzi
Brooke Van Poppelen

Best Male Stand-Up
Hannibal Buress
Pete Holmes
Sean Patton
Rory Scovel
Baron Vaughn

Best Sketch Comedy Group
BoF (Best of Friends)
Elephant Larry
Murderfist
New Exc!tement
Team Submarine

Best Improv Group
Big Black Car
Death By Roo Roo
I Eat Pandas
Improvised Shakespeare Company
Stepfathers

Best Host
Chris Gethard
Seth Herzog
Pete Holmes and Jessi Klein
Gabe Liedman, Jenny Slate and Max Silvestri
Joe Mande and Noah Garfinkel

Best Musical Comedy Act (Solo or Group)
Adira Amram
Shayna Ferm
Leibya Rogers (Mindy Raf)
Snakes
Stuckey & Murray

Best One Person Show
Big in Japan – Dave Hill
Dead Millionaire – Jenny Slate
Fag Life: A Conversation with Fred Phelps – Brent James Sullivan
Supernormal – Tom Shillue
Use It – Ann Carr

Best Short Comedic Film
DAMN (You Wish) – Carolyn Castiglia, Tom McCaffrey, Mara Herron, and Anya Garrett
Eagles are Turning People into Horses – BriTANick
Everyone Poops Trailer – Landline TV
Hey That’s Awesome!: 2012 – Rob Lathan w/Bobby Moynihan
What Do You Want on Your Tombstone? – Elephant Larry

Best Technician
Jon Gutierrez
Geoff Grimwood
Carol Hartsell
Frank Hejl
Rich Jones

Best Variety Show
Fifty First Jokes
Moonwork: An Evening of Original Works
Rejection Show
Risk! True Tales Boldly Told
Whiplash

Outstanding Achievement in Flyer or Postcard Design
Agorafabulous: Mike Wang and Lauren Goldberg
Brown Ambition: Anya Garrett
Fag Life: A Conversation with Fred Phelps: Mindy Tucker
Heart of Darkness – Dimitri Drjuchin
Swords Improv: Bradford Jordan and Eric Michael Pearson

Best Website
FRONTPAGEFILMS.COM
THEAPIARY.ORG
THECOMEDYNERDS.COM
THECOMICSCOMIC.COM
URDB.COM
VIDEOGUM.COM

Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Tweeting
@FRIEDMANJON
@JULIEKLAUSNER
@LIZZWINSTEAD
@MRDAVEHILL
@RANDAZZOJ

Best Book
All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) – Porter Mason
And Here’s the Kicker: Conversations with 21 Top Humor Writers on their Craft – Mike Sacks
Get Rich Cheating: The Crooked Path to Easy Street – Jeff Kreisler
Rejected: Tales of the Failed, Dumped and Cancelled – Jon Friedman
The Terrible, Horrible Temp-to-Perm Debacle: Book Two in the Just Make a Choice! Series – Bob Powers
The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life – Eugene Mirman

Emerging Comic Award
Myq Kaplan
Mike Lawrence
Kate McKinnon
Thomas Middleditch
Dan St. Germain
Brent Sullivan

In this special late Friday night semi-drunkin’ episode we review the very last Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien ever.

Join us and guest Michael Hartney as we say good-bye to the red haired wonder that is CoCo.  Conan, you will be missed…until you return in September most likely.

OMG you guys! We’re coming at you at little early this week, because the great late night war has begun! Dan, Dustin and guest Nick Turner discuss the in and outs and comings and goings as we untangle  NBC’s talk show quagmire. Trust me you guys, this is a good one.

Plus! News From The Past reveals another upsetting fact about a beloved old comedian. And…well that’s about it, we talked about the Leno/Conan thing the whole time. And it got a little bit nuts.

Conan is not going to take it any more.  Check out his official press release regarding NBC’s offer to move him to 12:05:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

Yeah, we am totally biased and support Conan in this whole thing as you may have noticed, but I have to say that I think it is a well thought out and classy response to the whole situation.

Sad news for the comedy world, Best Week Ever has officially been canceled by VH1. The news come fresh from Bestweekever.tv:

Sadly, the show that we’ve all come to know and love, Best Week Ever, has been officially canceled. We just got word of the news about an hour ago, and have been in a mournful state since. The show that turned itself into a household phrase brought a lot of laughter into people’s lives, not to mention paved the way for many of today’s most well known comedians.

The good news is that the blog will remain to give us our daily dose of pop culture snark, but I can not for the life of me understand how VH1 could walk away from such an amazing show.  I would love to give some eloquent eulogy but instead I will just whimper, stick out my lower clip and run off into my room and cry.  Why God!  Why have your forsaken me and this show?

You gotta love The Comic’s Comic Sean McCarthy.  The dudes got a crazy good comedy blog.  But is that enough for him?  Hells to the no.  Now the dude is saving lives! (Come on man, I already feel bad about my comedy blog quality, now you’re a hero?)  Check out his updates last night from the twitter.

Picture From Sean's Twitter

Spotted man passed out in the tracks on 6 line southbound at 23rd st. Alerted MTA but still had to wave down train. Phew! Too close.

Train arrived before the medics did. Thank God the conductor saw me!

Listen buddy, it’s awesome comedy blog or super hero.  You HAVE to pick one.  (and maybe I pushed that guy onto the tracks for a reason. Did you ever think of that Mr. Life Saver?  Maybe he said my jokes are good but not great and therefor deserved to die.  Feel a little silly now, huh?)

Oh, and since it happened to Sean that makes him the news and me the person reporting the news.  That means I broke the story.  Suck on that Sean.  Suck on that!!!!!!!!!!

Click Here to listen to the episode when Sean came on the podcast to talk comedy blogging.

The internet is freak the f’ out about rumors that Leno is taking back his 11:30 slot on NBC and TMZ is saying that Conan is getting sh@t canned in the process.  First off, shame on you NBC if you treat Conan that way.  But if that’s what happens, I say bring Conan to Comedy Central and let him make the show as crazy as he wants.  Move the Daily Show and Colbert to 10pm and 10:30, but Conan at 11.  You have the perfect late night combination at a time that you have a maximum audience to watch it. If it happens I expect an Emmy.

Reports are coming out all over today that Artie Lang’s hospitalization over the weekend was the result of a suicide attempt.  And not just you run of the mill, “I’m going to take a handful of pills and fall asleep” attempt.  The dude stabbed himself nine times.  Nine times.  I know the guy has been battling demons for a while and my heart goes out to him and his family but that is a crazy way to try to end it all.  You have to have an unbelievable amount of self loathing in order to do something like that.  It’s really sad. Hopefully his friends, family and fans can help him understand all the amazing things he has in his life and how much joy he brings them.  While I have never been a huge fan of Artie my thoughts are with him today.

What a time of year.  So many things to look forward to…presents…passive aggressive family interactions…awkward time spent with friends from high school who think they are so cool now because they have jobs/girlfriends/hair…and the songs.  Oh, the songs.  They fill the streets and haunt your dreams.  None more so than Christmas Shoes.  Please enjoy this Patton Oswalt bit about the song.  It’s a little long but heck, you are blowing off work anyway.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq10bz3PxyY

Also, check out this music video for the song and tell me there isn’t something really upsetting about that little boy.  He’s kind of got that future member of the klan feeling to him.  What?  You’re not suppose to say that about children, especially around the holidays.  Too bad.

Oh, and also check out this music video from UK comedian Tim Minchin.  It’s an actual good Christmas song that I think anyone would like, even people who don’t accept Jesus Christ as their lord and savior. (via Jason Saenz)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q

Listen folks, Grizzwalk “Grizz”Chapman from 30 Rock needs your kidney so give it up people.  He needs it.  This is serious.  Here are three good reason you should go give Grizz that pesky second kidney you got rolling around.

Weightloss – The average kidney ways over 14 pounds (I think, admittedly it could be a little less) so that’s like instant diet right there.  Why go to the gym when you can just give Grizz a kidney?  You’ll get that sexy beach body over night.

Super Organs – Without that stupid second kidney or “stupidny” your other organs will have more room and will flourish.  Some people think the appendix doesn’t do anything.  But I say it does.  I say it can help you fly if only it had a kidney size more room in the body.

Dot Com Gets Lonely Easy – He’s so sensitive.  And sometimes he needs the kind of comfort that only a hug from Grizz can offer.  It’s true.  Go ahead.  Ask him.

I will be expecting kidneys to start showing up at the Comedy Nerds offices very soon for me to take over to him.  Remember people, pack them in ice.  If the kidney goes bad it is no use for me or Grizz other than to add to my collection.

It’s only a few episodes, but you can now watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 on Hulu.  Seriously, how did this show get canceled?  It costs like $12 dollars to make and who isn’t going to watch a movie about a  “secret agent who tries to stop a drug lord from taking over the world with hallucinogenic chewing gum” (the plot of the linked episode Secret Agent Super Dragon).  I can honestly say I have never laughed harder than while watching the episode with Manos: The Hands of Fate.  Thank you Hulu!  There are a bunch more episodes here. (thanks Gawker for the heads-up)

Yo kid, when CKC and TMC are in the joint you know that place be rockin’.  (You also know that I be really bad at soundin’ street y’all.)  Check out another amazing videos from the pair along with Beena Steena and directed by the always amazing Anya Garrett.

DAMN (You Wish) -- NSFW

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXgEY7W1oqU

Check out this super not safe for work promo/sketch for Louis C.K.’s new show on FX.  It’s a joke but I am 100% sure that some celebrity has had this exact conversation (I’m looking at you guy who plays Turtle on Entourage).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jPZpptlABM

Twitter finally became worthwhile today.  Neil Patrick Harris has officially joined twitter!  There have been many a poser before but this is the real deal. Everything NPH does is awesome.  You can follow him at http://twitter.com/ActuallyNPH.

His first official tweet:

My first tweet, peeps. I apologize in advance for my slow learning curve. Nice to (sort of) meet you. It’s amazing how quickly 140 charac

This is gonna be good people!

(don’t forget to follow the comedy nerds at http://twitter.com/ComedyNerds too)

The Emerging Comic community is all abuzz today as nominations for ECNY awards are open.  You, the public get to decide who the best up and coming comedians are in New York City.  You can nominate anyone (in a variety of categories) who lives in NYC and did comedy in 2009.  For example you could click on this link and nominate www.thecomedynerds.com for best comedy website.  You could tell all your friends to nominate www.thecomedynerds.com for best website.  You could pay people money to nominate www.thecomedynerds.com for best website.  Or you could nominate @comedynerds for best twitter.  That would be fun, wouldn’t it?  Or Dustin D’Addato for best comedian or The Resistance or Secret Hospital for best sketch group.  Those are all very very very very good ideas (also, if you don’t  that means you hate freedom and love terrorism and punching kittens in the throat).

No matter what you decide to do (specifically you should nominate www.thecomedynerds.com for best website if I didn’t make that clear or you will make my mother cry and wonder why she had me in the first place) it’s important to support live comedy and up and coming comedians.  They do it for the love people.  The love! (of money/fame/women/men and sometimes comedy)  The video below explains more:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=17HEez1DFCE

There are some people who just shouldn’t get into the wine business and then there is Jeff Dunham.  Thanks to  videogum I and now you know that Jeff is the new “IT” boy in the wine world.  How did he jump to the top of the market so quick?  Common sense.  Just look at the label below:

Jeff just instinctively knew the key to success.  People want more wine with the racist picture of the skeleton of a dead terrorist on the label for the very very very very reasonable price of $45 a bottle or $540 a case.  And I can not tell you how many times I have sat down to drink a bottle of wine and thought to myself, you know what this wine could really use…more tobacco.  I mean, then I don’t need to smoke my cigarette through this two foot long holder like a fancy gentleman.  I can just drink the cigarettes along with my wine.  Plus, you know it’s good for you because the slogan is “I KEEL You”.

Don’t worry if that’s not the wine for you, Jeff also makes Peanut Riesling and Walter Trutina for the more conservative palate.

If you like laughing and you love blood then UCB’s Killgore is the perfect show for you.  It’s happening all weekend and it’s gross as hell.  Plus, at TheComedy Nerds we are all about supporting live comedy, or dead comedy.  I had to make one awful Halloween joke.  Sorry.

Finally Comedy Central has done something that doesn’t make want to punch a baby (Sorry Ian, your baby was the closest).  They just gave the green light to a new Nick Swardson sketch series.

A. Always good to have other sketch show on the air.
B. Nick Swardson!
C. Nick Swardson weekly!

You may know Nick from his multiple Comedy Central Special, as a gay rollerskating prostitute on Reno 911 or if you an uber comedy nerd from Grandma’s Boy to name just some of the stuff that he’s done.  Here’s how the Comedy Central Insider explains his new series:

[the] fast paced live-action sketch show is a weekly series that centers around Swardon’s twisted comedic viewpoint. The series will include irreverent digital shorts, man-on-the-street segments and animation inspired by the internet sensation “Gay Robot,” which follows the life of a gay robot and his frat boy friends.

I could watch Nick do anything so I for one am excited.  Plus, any guy who drops 300 bucks on high fives from a monkeys is the bee’s knees in my book.

If you are in the NYC area you can start Halloween early by checking out the second annual SCHTICK OR TREAT show tonight at the Bowery Poetry Club hosted by Matt Ruby and Mark Normand.  A whole butt load of comedians are dressin’ up and performing as their favorite comedians.  Here’s just a partial list of the what you can expect:

Richard Jeni (Kumail Nanjiani)
Kumail Nanjiani (Pete Holmes)
Paul F. Tompkins (Sean Patton)
Jim Gaffigan (Luke Cunningham)
Sam Kinison (Mike Drucker)
Johnny Carson (Mark Normand)
Neil Hamburger (Matt Ruby)
Steven Gold (Matt McCarthy)
Dana Carvey (Adam Newman)
Brian Regan (Jason Saenz)
Cedric the Entertainer (Nick Turner)

Here’s all the important detail:
Wed, Oct 28  – 7pm SHARP showtime (6pm doors)
The Bowery Poetry Club – Tickets: $7 at the door/$5 online
308 Bowery (Between Houston and Bleecker)

Words out that Jeff Dunham will be be at the center of an upcoming episode of 30 Rock. Here are the details from a recent interview:

“(Jack) and Liz make a trip down to Stone Mountain, Ga., Kenneth’s hometown, to find a new comic voice, and they run afoul of a Southern ventriloquist played by Jeff Dunham,  Jack thinks he’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen and accuses Liz of Yankee snobbery.”

Remind anyone else of a certain John Goodman episodes of Studio 60?  When will television shows like that stop talking down to Middle America?  (Spoiler Alert:  Never!  They are shot  on the East/West Coast so that’s where the writers live and people who spend $2,200 a month for a 450 square foot apartment above a falafel joint need to feel they are superior to people who live where it’s clean, doesn’t smell bad and they don’t get robbed every three months in order to accept that life style.  Sorry Middle America.  Have fun with your land and non cancer causing air quality.)

We are sad to say that eonline is reporting that comedy legend Soupy Sales passed away yesterday at a hospice in the Bronx. Even though he’s been out of the spotlight for some time you can’t help but miss him.  He was one of the most unabashedly silly and likable comedians of all time.  Most will remember him for getting hit in the face with a pie over and over again or from What’s My Line? but I will remember Soupy (real name Milton Supman) from the story below:

In what would have turned into one heck of a viral story if the Internet had been around in 1965, a disgruntled Sales ended his New Year’s Day broadcast of The Soupy Sales Show by instructing his young audience to creep into their parents’ bedrooms, take their parents’ “funny green pieces of paper with pictures of U.S. Presidents,” and mail the paper to him.

When money started arriving at the studio, Sales explained he was only joking and either returned the dough or donated the unreturnables to charity.

I think it would only be a fitting tribute to Soupy to send your funny green pieces of paper to the Comedy Nerds.  Don’t do it for us, do it for Soupy.

This week’s episode is ripped from the headlines (of the Huffington Post via The Comic’s Comic).  We look at the top 7 comedy feuds as suggested by the Huffington post and give our takes on who won.  Leno vs. Letterman: Who’s more of a douche bag?  Arsenio vs Rosanne:  Who better represents the early 90′s and therefor wins because we really don’t care about them all that much any more?  David Cross vs Larry the Cable Guy: Can we believe anything a fake cable guy says?

Plus, last week Dustin went to see SNL live in studio 8H and he spills the beans of what it’s like seeing the famous sketch show live.  Find out what had him freaking out during the show and who the scariest lady on the crew is.

When Sarah Silverman isn’t out there making the world laugh she is figuring out how to feed them.  That’s right.  Sarah Silverman has figured out a way to solve world hunger and as far as I can tell her plan is flawless.

SARAH SILVERMAN -- SELL THE VATICAN

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bObItmxAGc

In this week’s episode we look at censorship and why it f*cking blows.  We examine:  What really are the rules the frickin’ FCC uses for broadcast TV?  Is cursing really a big deal on television any more?  What can we do to free up the airways for saying sh*t and f*ck whenever we gosh darn want?  Why does Dan insist on calling this episode the “Spooktacular”?  (Warning: There really is no answer to the last one.  He’s just weird)

We welcome back Comedy Nerds favorite Michael Hartney to join in on the conversation.  Also, this episode is not related to anything that may or may not have happened on Saturday Night Live.  (okay it totally is, but be cool.)

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month which means 31 days of keeping boobies safe.  Take the time to check out this video from FunnyorDie.com featuring Alyson Hannigan, Emily Deschanel, Kat McPhee, Minka Kelly and Jaime King. Then visit www.su2c.org to donate to accelerated cancer research.  And don’t forget to make sure all the women in your life get checked for breast cancer.   It’s important.

Listen, I’ve been hearing a lot of rumors about who may or may not have said the f word on last night’s SNL season premier.  What?  That’s ridiculous.  Hey look over there!  (whispering) Okay, while we’re alone.  Let’s all agree to be cool about this.  Sure Jenny maybe have dropped the F-Bomb on her first show, but that’s because she’s awesome.  She got into the character and that character says the f-word a lot.  We’re all be grown-ups here.

There are going to be some people all “my children will never be the same because they heard that word.  Yeah, I let my kids stay up until after midnight on a Saturday because sometimes I get drunk and pass out with the TV on”.   Those people ruin everything,  I mean, let’s face it, it’s a late night sketch comedy show.  They should be able to say fuck when ever they feel like it.  If you hear anyone complaining about it tell them to SHUT UP.  Be cool and have Jenny’s back on this one.  Or next time they may come for you…

Also, I thought the episode was really funny and Megan Fox actually did a good job on SNL.  She’s no Justin Timberlake, but she wasn’t half bad.

For the first time (that I know of) the Emmys broke the telecast up into genres.  And I guess comedy was either the most or least important because it went first (really? Comedy is less important than reality.  Shame on you Mrs. Emmy).  Here is a list of who won in the big comedy categories in case you were under a rock or went to sleep early like a boring person.

Outstanding Comedy Series:  30 ROCK – I like the show a lot, but even they must be feeling a little awkward about winning all these awards.  I mean how excited can you get 40 awards in?

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series: Alec Baldwin – 30 Rock – (See above)

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series: Toni Collette – United States of Tara - Dude, I wanted to like that show so much but I couldn’t.  I prefer one good solid character than 4 half-assed bad ones.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series: Jon Cryer – Two and a Half Men – I wanted to throw my remote at the TV (but I didn’t because I would never hurt my 57″ HD beauty.  She brings me so much joy).  How can you not give it to NPH you sons of bitches?

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series: Kristin Chenoweth - Pushing Daisies – Kristin is fun and her show was canceled so I was okay with this one.  How cute was Amy though? Very.  Didn’t you just want to hug her?  Okay, maybe just me.  I am a huger.

Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart – I just wish they could have given it to The Daily Show and The Colbert Report together.  There are no losers here, except the other people nominated.

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series: “Reunion” – 30 Rock – 80% of the nominees where 30 Rock so it would have actually seemed like a dick move not to give it to them but Matt Hubbard is going to be talking some shit tomorrow.

Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Series: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart – (see above, but different above then the last see above and not directly above, two above)

The new fall TV season is upon us.  You want to know what to watch?  Then take a listen to our Fall Preview For Comedy Nerds.  We break down all the new and returning comedy shows into three categories:  watch it, tivo it, or watch c-span before you watch this piece of crap.

Seen any of the shows?  Let us know what you think.

Stephen Colbert, the king of all self-promotional media is back at it.  You gotta a problem with that?  Then take him on in the Colbert Nation Interview Simulator.  It’s not quite technology from the future, but it’s pretty damn close.  Either that or Stephen is living in your computer watching you all the time…oohhh scary.  (you probably shouldn’t have been doing what you were doing a minute ago anyway.  It makes the baby Jesus cry.  Oh yeah, I am also in your computer watching you all the time.)

It’s finally here.  Monday night The Jay Leno Show debuted and the Comedy Nerds were there to review/examine/critique it.  Was the new Jay as crazy sexy cool as we all hoped he would be?  Where the correspondents Daily Show quality awesome?  Did Jay really just ask Kanye what his dead mom would think of him?  Really?  Really?

So should you watch it or find other 10 pm fun?  We’ll try to help you decide.

Welcome to the first of our Comedy Nerds product reviews.  We are committed to bringing you honest, thought out,  thorough and serious reviews of the items you care about.  First up, Bawls.

BAWLS

It was only last week that I first discovered Bawls.  I was interested in Bawls right from the beginning but was reluctant.  Everyone in my office just kept pestering  me, “go get some Bawls”, “I think you will really like Bawls”, “you know what would go really good with that chicken salad?  Bawls.”  So I finally agreed and went out and tried some Bawls.

While Bawls come in a variety of sizes and flavors in this particular case I went with the large Blue Bawls.  I have very particular tastes so I was a little nervous I wouldn’t like the taste of Bawls, but I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised.  I don’t know what I really expected Bawls to taste like but my Bawls tasted like vanilla.   I can honestly say I like the taste of Bawls.

Plus, Bawls is filled with energy.  Bawls contains high levels of caffeine.  So when you are feeling a little run down, maybe next time you should go out and gets Bawls.

Overall I have to give Bawls a B+.  It’s low in calories, gives you energy and most importantly Bawls tastes great.  The only down side is that it’s hard to find Bawls.  Bawls isn’t available in a lot of locations.  But if you can find Bawls then it is worth the effort.

The Comic’s Comic is reporting that SNL has cut Casey Wilson and Michaela Watkins from the cast for the upcoming season.  I must say I am a little sad about it.  I think Michaela, more than anyone I’ve seen (other than Rob Riggle), was underutilized on the show.  I think given the chance to be in more scenes she would have been able to break out as a premier cast member.  i wish both of them luck and will miss them this season.

On a related note I am super happy for Jenny Slate getting cast.  She will do an awesome job.

Are you a sketch writer or have you been thinking about getting into it?  Well September is National Sketch Writing Month.  So get our your keyboards and start crackin’ people.  Sign up over at http://www.nationalsketchwritingmonth.com/ and join the party.  The goal is to write 30 sketches in 30 days.   You can share your sketches with others or keep them to yourselves.  Either way, it’s the perfect time to be writing sketches.

Don’t worry about sucking.  September is about quantity not quality.  So get off your butt, then get back on your butt in front of your computer and write some sketches.  Do it…for America!

Awesome news.  The funniest movie of 2008 just got picked up for a 5th installment. Always dependable Sly Stallone is puttin’ on the bandanna and pickin’ up the bow (with dynamite tipped arrows) once again for a new Rambo movie.

If you haven’t seen the most recent Rambo quit your job and go see it right now.  (You’ve been wanting to quit anyway and go back to school.  If not now, when?  You know I’m right.)  It is honestly one of the funniest movies of all time (if you like very very dark humor where bad people get cut in half with bullets in a borderline cartoon kind of way).  Thank you Mr. Rambo.  Thank you so much.

After over a year of Friday podcasts we are making the movie to Monday.  So now you can start your week off with the Comedy Nerds instead of listening Friday night when you are out drunk at the bar with friends which is how we assume everyone listens to it.  Although…it is probably funnier when you are drunk.  Well, I guess you are going to have to start drinking Monday mornings.  It’s not like you didn’t want to already.  Now we give you an excuse.  See the Comedy Nerds are always doin’ stuff for you!

There are a ton of comedy series on the net, but none aimed so clearly at nerds and specifically video game nerds as The Guild (okay, maybe Red Vs. Blue is close too  Why are you always correcting me).  So fresh from this years Blizzcon (put on by the folks that brought you World Of Warcraft and Starcraft) I felt it vitally important to share with y’all the awesome/sexy/funny music video The Guild debuted there.  And I highly suggest you check out the full series at watchtheguild.com.  Get caught up quick because season 3 kicks off any day now.  If you’re a frequent reader or comedy nerds you may recognize the star Felicia Day from the Dr. Horrible series (which is getting a sequel next year!!!).  Fun fact: It was The Guild that inspired Dr. Horrible.  Both of which make me very happy.

Required Reading -- Do You Wanna Date My Avatar?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=urNyg1ftMIU

That’s right, once again The Comedy Nerds have picked their favorite comedy performers and put together a fantastic show for your enjoyment.

You know who I’ve been hearing some really great things about? Aparna Nancherla. Too bad she’s not in this show. Wait, she is! Holy Cow! That’s awesome! That’s enough of a show right there.

But you know who would really made this a show you can’t miss. Claudia Cogan. OMG, is she ever funny. Get out of town! She’s going to be there too. Well now you just got to go.

And you know who is just blowing up right now? Team Submarine. Everywhere you look these days, you see them pop up. Now, there is some name recognition. What??? They will also be on stage? This show is out of control! I don’t know if one show can contain such high comedy wattage.

There only one person I can think of who could possibly round out a cast so good—SHUT UP!!! SERIOUSLY?!? Sean Crespo. THE Sean Crespo is going to be there? This show is off the hook!

Oh yeah? Did I happen to mention this little show is FREE. What’s the matter? Did I just BLOW YOUR MIND?

You’re welcome.

NERDIN’ OUT

COCO 66

66 Greenpoint Ave

Friday August 14th @ 8pm

Price: Free

Take the G to Greenpoint Ave Stop

Exciting news being reported by Variety.  It looks like Comedy Nerd favorite Louis C.K. will be joining the cast of NBC’s “Parks and Recreation” for multiple episodes as a love interest to Amy Poehler.  I hate to admit it, but I think NBC owns Thursday nights again.  (Sorry for the lame play on words in the title.  I was feeling cutesy)

If you listened to our podcast about the MMHI a few weeks back you know that we had some issues with it (get it, we had issues.  I came up with that.  No blogger ever used that before.).  Here’s the thing though.  It was the pilot and pilots always suck.  So when show number two came out we were excited to see how it would play out and wouldn’t you know it, it was a lot better.  They had worked out a lot of the problems from the pilot (which had been shot a while before the rest of the series) and it’s a pretty darn good show.

Don’t let this one go the way of Stella people.  The Michaels need to be on television regularly.  And it’s has an awesome and so far under appreciated supporting cast.  I’ll be watching.  What did ou guys think of the show?

photo from flickr by Andrew St. Clair

Michael and Michael Have Issues debuted this week and we couldn’t have been more excited.  On this week’s podcast we talk about our impressions after the first episode.  Was it funny?  How meta was it?  How does an intern write a story, get it to his college newspaper’s editor, get it printed and pick it up all in less than 12 hours?

Plus, we look at the 2009 Emmy Nominations in all the comedy categories.  Does Family Guy deserve to be in the best comedy category?  Just how many nominations did 30 Rock get?  How did How I Met Your Mother not get a nomination for their awesome microsites?

Also, check out an great song by our friend Meaghan Farrell.

The Emmy Award nominations came out today and a big congrats to Flight Of the Conchords for the butt load of nominations. However, one thing struck me as off, of the two members only Jemaine Clement got nominated for Lead Actor In A Comedy .  First off Emmy dudes and dudettes,  how are you gonna only nominate one of the two people in a comedy duo?  Do you know what that is going to do these guys?  Now Jermaine will be talking smack like all the time.  Thing about the children, I mean the dynamic.  Bret is probably going to develop a drinking problem now and he’s already a small guy so he will get drunk quickly and he’s got a kid on the way (according to Wikipedia) so its a terrible time to become an alcoholic.   Secondly, as  I mentioned he’s already the little one.  Now not only will Jemaine have the being the bigger one thing, but also he’s now the one with the Emmy nomination for his acting.  You just don’t understand Bret’s New Zealand ways, do you Emmy people.

I totally support the Emmy people nominating Jemaine, but they could totally have bumped Charlie Sheen off the list to make way for Bret.  Even Charlie Sheen would tell you that.  You’re an Emmy nominee in my heart Bret McKenzie (But I still gotta give the award to Steve Carrell.  He’s a really funny dude with a more complex character then most people give him credit for).

With The State DVDs being released and the premier of “Michael and Michael Have Issues” happening this week, it seems like I can’t turn around without running across something State related. Not that I’m complaining. In fact I’m doing the opposite of complaining, which I believe is called “anti-complaining”. The New York Times will be running a series called “State Secrets” revealing the behind the scenes stories of iconic State sketches. Speaking of that, it is very strange here is 2009 to see a major newspaper using words like “iconic” to describe The State, since back when it was first on it was just that dumb MTV comedy show that no one outside my circle of friends had ever heard of, and my dad thought was turning me gay. (Didn’t work then, but now that I have the DVDs there’s still time!)

Anyway, here is a nice little discussion on the making of “Porcupine Racetrack“. Guys, when David Wain falls down at the end of his dance, that was a mistake and they kept it in. IT WAS A MISTAKE! I’M SO FULL OF TRIVIA TIDBITS! AND IT LOVE IT!!!

We’ve mentioned it on the show for weeks now, but the moment has finally arrived.  The show is this Friday (July 10th) at 8pm.  We’re doing the show at COCO66 (at 66 Greenpoint Ave in Brooklyn).  We are ready to announce the line-up for the Comedy Nerds Comedy Show. And what a line-up it is. See if you can handle this tidal wave of talent:

First up we got Mr. Nick Turner, hilarious stand up comic and host of “Too Cool for School“.

Next up, satellite radio super-star Ken Zimlinghaus will make you laugh and use his access to state-of-the-art satellite technology to kill an audience member from space.

Then stand-up comedy powerhouse Matt McCarthy will grab the mic and lay down some comedy science on all y’all. You may recognize him from certain commercials, but we’re far too downtown alternative to say which ones.

Need to take a break to process all that comedy greatness? Well too bad because Shayna Ferm is here to dazzle you with her fantastic and funny songs. And she can write a darn good theme song as well.

Last, but certainly far from least, sketch comedy favorites Secret Hospital, fresh off their appearance at the Los Angeles Comedy Festival, will welcome you into their world of strange sex talk, stranger music classifications, and all male JO parties (no gay stuff).

All this, plus your Comedy Nerds hosts Dan and Dustin, hosting faster and harder than anyone has ever hosted before.

Photo from flickr by CHARLES VAN DEN BROEK

There is just something about the number three.  This week we watched the rule of threes play out in it’s saddest variation with the death of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.  While there is nothing at all funny about that when things happen in threes in comedy it’s usually a good thing.  For some reason three is the perfect number for laughs.

This week we look at the rule of threes and a bunch of other comedy rules and why they exist. Is more of a good thing always good in comedy?  Are things always funnier when you repeat them?  Are things always funnier when you repeat them?  Are things always funnier when you repeat them?  Are things always funnier when you repeat them? Are things always funnier when you repeat them?  How long before it gets annoying?

Ed McMahon is back at Johnny Carson’s side (hopefully in heaven if you believe such things).  He passed away last night. I didn’t even know until today that in addition to being a sidekick on The Tonight Show, host of Star Search and a bunch of TV and movie roles he was also a decorated pilot during WWII.  Go you Ed McMahon.  You will be missed.

Comedian and friend of the show Jesse Popp is featured in this crazily cool slide show, story telling thing in the New York Times that makes his life seem awesome and epic and noble.

The Grey Lady Loves Jesse Popp

Here’s a bit from Jesse’s stand up that I really liked:

I mean wow.  Just wow.  I can’t even…  Wow.  Please, for the love of God, click on this link and watch the video.  Please

We promised your more science from Mikey B.  Here it is y’all.

English Essayist William Hazlitt once said “Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.”

It’s a lovely quote. It’s also bullshit. Laughter has been found in other primates, dogs, and even rats. Distinctly human laughter, however, is believed to have originated approximately 4 million years ago, long before language evolved as a method of communication — You know what else evolved before language? Sex. There’s a lesson here from our caveman ancestors: It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it (and how big of a club you’ve got).

Yeah, that’s right.  Weird Al has a new video.  He’s goin’ classic (I think it’s implied that anything Weird Al does is classic) with a Doors’ tune.  Enjoy!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R32aFmxL9HY

Sketchfest NYC is only two days away and we couldn’t be more excited.  We’ll be down there all weekend interviewing some amazing sketch groups.  This was suppose to be Sketchfest week here at the Comedy Nerds camp but some bastards broke in to my apartment and stole my computer over the weekend and then the internet broke at my office so this is the only access I’ve had to the internet.  But that will all be solved tomorrow (hopefully) and we will be giving you all the best stuff from sketchfest.

Our beloved Nick Turner and Michael Harntey will be joining us for all the sketchy fun.  If you have a chance to come down and see some shows live I really recommend that you do and please say hi.  Click Here to check out the sketchfest website and read about all the awesome groups, then check back Friday morning for our first episode from the theater. 

Some movies just shouldn’t be funny.  You look at the description.  You watch the trailer and you think, my god who let this happen.  Then you watch the movie and to spite everything you thought you knew the movie is actually funny.  You hate to admit it, but they made you laugh.  So this week the top ten team put together the Top Ten Movies That Are Way Funnier Than They Had Any Right To Be.

10. Galaxy Quest

It stars Tim “Grunt Noise” Allen and Sigourney “My Mom Really Like Her” Weaver in what looked like an awful Star Trek rip off.  It should be terrible.  In reality it’s pretty funny and dare I say it touching in certain parts.   IMDB fun fact:  It was the film debut of Justin Long and Rainn Wilson.

9. BASEketball

Lost in the history of the South Park guys is BASEketball (probably because they didn’t write it, just starred in, which is kind of weird.)  As movies about made up sports go, this one was the best.  IMDB fun fact: The word “dude” is spoken a total of 98 times throughout the movie (including the scene after the credits). 21 of these are during Coop and Remer’s “dude” argument.

8. Baby Mama

It’s called Baby Mama.  That should be enough for you to think it’s horrible.  The trailer has Amy Poehler peeing in the sink.  That should also be enough to make you turn away.  It turns out the movie is actually pretty funny and Amy Poehler becomes kind of adorable by the end.  Fun Fact: Tina Fey liked the movie so much she did a spoof of it on 30 Rock.  Hey, wait a minute…

7. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

This is by far the stupidest, crudest and most pointless movie on the list.  It’s also probably the funniest.  No matter how much you might want to hate this movie it will get you.  No human can withstand the nude wrestling scene. IMDB Fun Fact:  Seth Rogan and Patton Oswalt made uncredited writing contributions.

6. Can’t Hardly Wait

It’s just a stupid teen coming of age movie.  There have been tons of those.  But for some reason, this one works like no other.  The characters are crazy but relate able.  The life lessons they learn actually make sense.  And you know, Preston.  You gotta love him.  IMDB Fun Fact: Amanda’s original name was going to be Wendy but the producers weren’t able to find a song for Preston’s 3rd sign. There is a song called “Wendy” but it’s about a drug dealer.

5. Kung Pow: Enter The Fist

It’s a movie that’s almost entirely overdubbed.  The main character fights a CG cow.  It should have been horrible.  What resulted was a hilarious unpredictable and unique movie that almost no one has ever seen.  Don’t be that person.  Netflix this thing now.  You will be happy you did.  IMDB Fun Fact: With exception of the character Whoa, Steve Oedekerk did all of the other character’s dubbed voices.

4. Not Another Teen Movie

Parody movie are usually bad and predictable.  This movie breaks through that to be a smart look at the teen movie genre and actually is a pretty decent movie all by itself.  IMDB Fun Fact: In Russia, the film is entitled “Not a Children’s Movie”. (insert Yakkov Smirnoff joke here)

3. Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle

It’s about stoners going to White Castle.  White Castle.  Let me repeat that again, White Castle.  From the director of “Dude, Where’s My Car”.  But the movie is hilarious.  You have no idea what you are in for when you sit down to watch this movie. Most importantly Neil Patrick Harris shows up and when Neil Patrick Harris shows up you know things are about to get good.  IMDB Fun Fact: Kal Penn, who plays Kumar, is a vegetarian, so technicians made veggie Castles for him.  Also, Penn is now an associate director in the White House’s Office of Public Liaison & Intergovernmental Affairs.

2. Josie & The Pussycats

Yeah, that’s right.  I said it.  Josie & The Pussycats.  You’ve never seen it so don’t judge me.  It was a seriously funny movie.  It made Tara Reid funny.  It’s one of the smartest comedy movies based loosely on a cartoon that wasn’t all that popular to begin with that I’ve ever seen.  It’s done by the same folks who did Can’t Hardly Wait.  Feel a little stupid for judging me now.  I thought so.  IMDB Fun Fact: To stay with the ‘consumer economy’ tone of the film, from beginning to end there are approximately 73 companies who have product placements shown; from logos to actual items ranging in entertainment, electronics, fashion, food, hygiene, and cars. No money was received from all the product placements in the film.

1. The Emperor’s New Groove

Previews for The Emperor’s New Groove made it look like a formula for suck — the emperor of an ancient Incan Empire gets turned into a llama, voiced by David Spade, whom we were just starting to get really sick of at that point? Bleah. It turns out that the Hans Christian Anderson-meets-Terry McMillan title is the only thing that actually sucks about this movie. The script is hip and imaginative, the character design would give any animation fan a boner, it’s chock full of action and slapstick, and the vocal performances of Spade, John Goodman, Eartha Kitt and Patrick Warburton are inspired. It may be the last great hand-animated feature Disney will ever make.  IMDB Fun Fact:  None of the facts were that fun.  But here it goes.  Patrick Warburton improvised when Kronk hummed his own theme song when he was carrying Kuzco in the bag to the waterfall. Disney legal department had Patrick to sign all rights to the humming composition over to them.

Lost in all the buzz coming out of the upfront is the news that ABC has canceled According To Jim.  It is a sad day for all comedy snobs.  What will we point to as a show that represents everything that is wrong with sitcoms today?  Oh yeah, Two And Half Men.  Sorry.  Go about your day.  Thanks for that ABC.

Check out our special Monday podcast.  We discuss Dane Cook’s new Comedy Cenrtal special called Isolated Incident.  Yeah,  that’s right we’re topical mofo’s.

Was it everything it was promised it would be?  Did he do anything to silence the haters?  Why did the bleep out the words “dot com”?  We welcome stand-up and sketch comedian Nick Turner to join in on all the debates.

We’re thrilled to announce that The Comedy Nerds will be joining forces with the fine folks over at Sketchfest NYC to do podcasts straight from the theater every night of the 2009 festival.  We’ll be featuring exclusive interviews with some of the top sketch performers in the country (see full line up below).  We couldn’t be more excited to talk comedy with all these hilarious folks. Over the next few weeks we’ll be highlighting some of these amazing groups.  We’ll also be joined by Comedy Nerds regulars Nick Turner and Michael Hartney to add in to the fun.

Check out this awesome line-up:

THURSDAY, JUNE 11
7pm: Blitzkrieg + Sidecar, Featuring College Humor TV
8pm: Team Submarine + Kurt & Kristen, Featuring Front Page Films
9pm: The Apple Sisters
10pm: Rue Brutalia
11pm: A Week of Kindness + Murderfist, Featuring The Imponderables
Midnight: Olde English presents Very Fresh

FRIDAY, JUNE 12
7pm: BriTANick
8pm: The Money Kids + Pangea 3000, Featuring Scott Gairdner
9pm: Harvard Sailing Team + The Riot Act, Featuring Escape Pod Films
10pm: The 3rd Floor
11pm: Kevin McDonald’s Hammy and the Kids
Midnight: The Rejection Show

SATURDAY, JUNE 13
Noon: Striking Viking Story Pirates
2pm: The College Humor Show
4pm: Inside Joke: An Evening of Lies
6pm: Free Love Forum + BOF, Featuring BriTANick
7pm: The Story Pirates present Found Magazine + The New Exc!tement, Featuring Scott Gairdner
8pm: Steve & Jordan
9pm: Summer of Tears
10pm: Elephant Larry
11pm: Fearsome
Midnight: SketchFest NYC’s Closing Night Craptacular

In anticipation of the DVD release, the New York Times has a piece about The Dana Carvey Show:

Comedy fans may remember it as a crucible in which many future stars were forged. But for the people who created the show, it was a stark lesson that when idiosyncratic talents are given the freedom to follow their personal muses, a mass audience does not always follow.

“It was probably the most bizarre variety show in the history of American television,” Mr. Carvey said in a recent interview. “I’m not even saying good or bad, just bizarre.”

Check out the full article here.

Between this and the State release, it’s a good time for obscure, cult sketch comedy. Although, other than SNL and maybe Mad TV, is there any other kind of sketch comedy other than obscure and cult?

The State’s lost album “Comedy for Gracious Living” is available for download here: http://unheard78.blogspot.com/2009/05/state-comedy-for-gracious-living.html

But I don’t know how long it will last, so get on it!

I just got back from L.A. and this video is true. That city is all about taking lunches and pull off tuxdeos. Now I’ll go twitter this post because that’s what us kids do today.

Listen, comedy is a hard business.  You work long hours and often don’t get paid.  Unless of course you are in intern at RooftopComedy.  Those bad ass mamma jammas are offering one lucky college kid a paid summer internship.  If you are still in college I have two pieces of advice for you:

1. Fail as many classes as you can as often as you can.  If you can stretch it into 7 years and get all Van Wilder on that shit do it.  He looked happy, didn’t he? (Don’t act like you didn’t watch it at least 1 of the 700 times it was on Comedy Central).

2. Apply for this internship.  Paid internships are rare.  Paid internships in comedy are only this one.

The New York Times is reporting that the often forgotten but loved by people who actually took the time to watch it Talk Show with Spike Feresten has been cancelled.  What’s up with that Fox?  It was one of the few truely experimental late night talk shows out there.  Spike (if that’s your real name, which it is not) you will be missed.  And also…my parents liked that show.  My parents hate that type of show, yet they enjoyed it.  Therefor if they like it, it must be a good show  I also want it noted that they also like me and think I am funny (and they think I am very handsome too) therefor I must be a good show as well.  Give me a call Fox.  I’m not doing anything Saturday nights at that time.  Sorry Spike, we’re in a recession.

Various news sources are reporting that lovable comedian and food lover Dom DeLuise passed away in his sleep last night at the age of 75.  Our best wishes go out to his friends and family.

Hope you enjoy that big Cannonball Run in the sky Dom.  Or if it turns out the other way, hope you enjoy The Best Little Whore House In Texas Hell.  I believe Phyllis Driver is there.  (Wait, what?  She’s still alive?  Well that’s just not fair.)

Summer is quickly approaching and now is the time when our minds turn to fancy.  I’m not 100% sure what that means, but I think it has to do with making out with people so what better time to put out a list of the Top Ten Sexiest Comedians On A Purely Superficial Basis.  Enjoy and your welcome.

10. Lynn Koplitz

Most hot female comedians avoid talking about their looks,Lynn embraces it.  And look at her.  Why wouldn’t she want to talk about it.  I do.  I am.  She’s hot.

9. Ken Marino

Even his own sketch group (The State) admitted he was the sexy one.  Almost too good looking for sketch comedy.  Almost…

8. The Benny Hill Girls

These girls invented the sexy party.  Also, they were willing to have said sexy parties with Benny Hill, so that means they probably would have had a sexy party with a shlub like you which makes them even sexier.

7. Rob Riggle

He’s funny, he’s good looking and the government trained him to how to kill people with his thumb.  That’s hot in a very disturbing kind of way.

6. Paul Rudd

The dude makes himself sexy.  I don’t know how he does it.  He’s just like, “I’m hot” and then you’re just like, “yeah you are”.  It’s like a Jedi Mind Trick. I will learn your secret Paul Rudd!  Mark my words.  I will learn your secret.

5. Abby Elliott

SNL doesn’t use her nearly enough, but when they do it’s usually to be hot (see her Angelina Jolie for examples).  Please SNL, use her more, but if all her roles must be that of the hot chick, totally fine.  Totally.

4. Neil Patrick Harris

Doogie grew into his body.  Also he’s just as hot when he’s all sleeveless on a motorcycles as he is when he suits up.

3. Ryan Reynolds

I’m just sayin’, look at those abs.  Look at ‘em.  You want to touch them, don’t you?  How can he be funny and have those abs?  I am going to guess he’s a witch.  A sexy witch.

2. Jenna Fischer

Sure, she looks all innocent.  But you know she’s got a dirty side.  Want proof?  Here’s the picture I wanted to use before the censors got involved.  Seriously.  Click he link.  It’s awesome.  I’m not even kidding.  Click the link.

1. April Macie

She’s dressed like the devil.  That’s naughty.  The good kind of naughty.  The very good kind.  (insert some pun about last phallic thing standing)  But seriously, God Damn.  Sorry, kids are reading.  Gosh Darn that chick is hot.

So who did we leave off?  Who do you think should have made the list?  We want to know.

This weekend the ultimate Golden Girl Bea Arthur passed away.  I’ve read a lot of stories and blog posts of people saying their goodbyes, but I think Bea did the job best herself.  Please enjoy this clip from the Star Wars Holiday Special.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzXKySxPFCI

It may be April but here in NYC there are no showers so what better day to pay tribute to the Weatherman.  Here are our top ten comedy weathermen/women.

10. Harris K. Telemacher (Steve Martin) – L.A. Story

Okay, he was occasionally upstaged by a street sign, but when he wasn’t…weatherman gold. Plus, Telemacher also taught us that pretentious allusions to Homer’s Epic Poem “The Odyssey” can be cinematic gold (but they still won’t make you as good as Woody Allen).

9. Tom Brandston (Chevy Chase) – Snow Day

Anything can happen on a show day, even Chevy Chase being kind of funny in the past decade.

8. David Spritz (Nicolas Cage) – The Weather Man

Its funny because his name is also a name for a kind of light rain! Also he is a sad weatherman who hates his life. Everyone loves a sad weatherman.

7. Bill Ayers – The Weatherman

He was a funky terrorist who helped blow up buildings, and now he a a distinguished professor of education at the University of Illinois at Chicago.  That’s kind of funny.  Also, he’s Obama’s best closest blood brother friend.

6. Jo Harding (Helen Hunt) – Twister

Jo – “You’ve never seen it miss this house, and miss that house, and come after you!”  She thinks twisters are alive. Crazy lady.  Hey, is that someone knocking on door? Hold on, I’ll be right back.  Who is it?  What?  I can’t understand you.  Let me open the door.  Oh my God — it’s a twister and a land shark.  Why are you always coming after me!

5. The Weather Girls – Of It’s Raining Men Fame

Their prediction for a meteorological event as horrific as it is unlikely. The rivers would run red with the gore of countless thousands of men falling from the sky and splattering on the ground below.  Lyrics by Paul Shaffer.

4. George Carlin – The Hippy Dippy Weatherman

Hell, he just as stoned as any other weatherman.  (I’m looking at your Al Roker)

3. Phil Connors (Bill Murray) – Groundhog Day

According to Dan, this performance deserved the Oscar!

2. Ollie Williams – Family Guy

He’s Funny!

1. Brick Tamland – (Steve Carell) Anchorman

Sure, it was later determined he’s mentally retarded, but who doesn’t love a weatherman who’s not afraid to kill a guy with a trident?  I love lamp and I love Brick…I love Brick.

UPDATE:  With all of our comedic knowledge, it somehow slipped by us that David Letterman started out his career as a weatherman.  So he makes the list too.  Hmm…we left Letterman off our Top Ten List.  There’s gotta be a joke in there somewhere…I got it!  Nope.  Just lost it.  Thanks to Chad Riden for the heads up.  You get a canned ham!

Nothing has made me madder than those frickin’ Nation for Marriage son’s of bitches (click here to see what I am talking about if you don’t already know)  So I want to say a very big thank you to the folks at Shoot The Messenger for making this video.  Also, we’re all going to be forced to be gay married soon.

Check out this awesome video done by comedians Tom McCaffery and Carolyn Castiglia.  Most music videos done all indy style are just awful, but this is done really well.  It’s funny and it’s got all your New York comedy scene favorites.  (p.s.  My favorite part is John Mulaney fake talking while he is being robbed.  Second favorite, Aisha Tyler just not having it.)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHEfhimdgUc

Dude.  Dude.  This is awesome.  According to Variety CMT just ordered 8 episodes of a show called “Running Wild…From Ted Nugent”.  He trains people how to surivive in the wilderness and then we they are ready he drops them in the woods and mother f’n hunts them…wait for it…with his son Rocco.  Nothing like a day in the woods hunting humans with your 18 year old son.  I don’t know if I am scared that we keep feeding Ted Nugent’s crazyness or thrilled to see where it takes us.  Either way, I will be watching that show.

Boston’s NBC affiliate WHDH decided today that they are too good for Jay Leno at 10 pm and told the peacock that when Jay’s show starts airing in September they are going to go to local news instead.  Basically they think Leno is going suck wind at 10pm and they would rather have John Q. Local News fill in the time.  Local Bostonians gotta have der Socks news at 10 or they’ll go frinkin’ crazy.  Here’s how I prefer to envision the conversation when down:

NBC:  Hey WHDH station manager, we’re putting Leno at 10pm.

WHDH: Oh yeah, why don’t you go F’ yourself!

NBC:  Excuse me?

WHDH:  You heard me, ya Jeter lover.  Go F’ yourself. We ain’t airin’ no Leno at 10 pm.  You gotta a problem with that, then you can hop on the T and do somethin’ about it!

NBC:  You don’t understand.  You will do it or we will take your NBC affiliation away.  You don’t want to end up as a CW affiliate do you?

WHDH:  Havaad yaad

NBC:  What was that?

WHDH:  Havaad yaad?

NBC:  Who’s idea was this anyway?

WHDH: One of viewers.  A Mr. Jonan BO’brien.

NBC:  I see….

If that title doesn’t get you, nothing will.  Check it 30 Rockers.  It’s the full version of Tina Fey’s Phone Sex commercial from when she was “younger” that appeared in last week’s 30 Rock.  Enjoy!

Just reading Gawker.  Here comes the best article titles ever:

ShamWow Guy Beats Up Cannibal Hooker

I could describe the story further, but I think the title says every single thing you need to know.

So you’ve probably heard about the new Three Stooges movie in the works.  I am thrilled to see how they are going to pull it off.  And now I am very excited because they have released the cast or at least the cast that they are trying to put the final ink on the contracts for.  Y’all ready for this?

Jim Carrey as Curly – Sean Penn as Larry – Benicio del Toro as Moe

Okay.  Jim Carrey as Curly.  It would be hard for anyone to fit that roll satisfactorily, but if anyone can do it he can.  Sean Penn as Larry is…um…yeah…um…well…it’s ah… Wow.  I’ve got nothing.  He’s going from Milk to Larry?  I admit that he is one of the greatest actors I have ever seen.  I admit in recent years he has made a lot of great choices in roles.  I have to admit that I am really curious to see how he takes getting comedically hit in the head with a pipe.  But del Toro is the one that still has me going wha?  wha?  wha?  It’s not that he can’t be funny.  He can.  He just can’t speak clearly.  Is every joke going to be Curly and Larry saying “what was that?”.

But all that said, I really want to see that movie.

Baron Vaughn and Amanda Bynes together in a comedy pilot for ABC.  Can life get any better?  I submit it that it can not!

The CCI is reporting that the two will be starring in a new comedy:

The show centers around a group of friends who all get fired the same day after a corporate shakeup.  Amanda will play a “naive Midwestern girl who often spent nights at the office to get her work done.” The 22-year-old will star alongside Tim Peper, Stephanie Lemelin and Baron Vaughn.

I love me some Amanda Bynes.  Seriously, The Amanda Show was a sketch show way ahead of it’s time and I will fight you to the death if you think differently.  But I more so love me some Baron Vaughn (in a entirely 95% heterosexual way).  He’s the real deal when it comes to comedy (and just an all around cool dude)  and it is awesome that the networks are finally beginning to see it.  If ABC has any idea what is going on they will pick up this show.  Even if the writing is awful, those two will make it work.  They can make anything work.  The could have made communism work (but thank god they didn’t try or this website would be called the Comedy Comrades.  Actually I kind of like that…I miss communism).

Please make this show happen ABC.  Please make this show happen America.  Please everyone send me a dollor so I can get a down payment for an apartment since Dan just purchased a house and I am feeling bad about where I am in my life.  (that last part is unrelated, but still very important.)

On March 20th, British newspaper Telegraph reported that evolutionary theorist Alastair Clarke has identified eight categories into which every joke ever told can fit, regardless of place or time.

Positive Repetition: We are, after all, two wild and crazy guys.

Scale: Wait a second…all those clowns can’t fit into that car!

Qualification: This apparently has to do with a familiar word being said in an unfamiliar way.  Or, as I like to call it, Seinfeld.

Qualitative Recontextualization: When something we know has changed.  Like Garth’s hair after settling down with Kim Basinger in Wayne’s World 2.  When in doubt, look to the classics.

Application: A double meaning.  Like “working girl”.  Or “pearl necklace”.  Or “anal intercourse”.

Completion: Where the audience is called upon to finish the joke.  Knock knock.

Division: A priest, a rabbi, and a polysexual water nymph walk into a speakeasy.  For the thrilling conclusion to this joke, look under the lobby doormat at 1540 Broadway (at 45th Street).  There will be a Post-It.

Opposition: Irony and sarcasm.  Like ray-hee-ain.  On your wedding day.

So there you have it.  Mr. Clarke sounds hilarious.  I just used opposition!  Oh, snap!  Oh, wait…is “oh, snap” positive repetition?  Hmm…I’m not sure.  Science, after all, is hard.

The AP is reporting that Stephen Colbert won the “NASA’S online contest to name a new room at the international space station.”  He kicked Serenity’s ass by over 40,000 votes.  Comedy Central hosts can not be stopped, they can only be contained.  Today is a great day for people who like it when ridiculous stuff happens.  So now the only thing that can screw it up is if NASA decides that “Colbert” is an inappropriate name for a room on the space station.”  Which it is not.  And considering Serenity is the name of space ship from Firefly (Joss Whedon, the guy who made Buffy The Vampire Slayer’s other show) I don’t think that is any more appropriate (although I will argue that Firefly was an underrated show.  Better than Dollhouse I’ll tell you that!) .

It’s awesome seeing the power of good comedy when it is used for positive influences and not evil (I’m looking at you “get ‘er done”. 

A while back we did a podcast about if comedy central was going more mainstream.  Today we got confirmation.  Yes.  Yes it is.  According to The Comedy Central Insider:

COMEDY CENTRAL viewers can expect to hear a lot more from Jeff Dunham and his infamous characters, Walter, Achmed the Dead Terrorist, Peanut, Bubba J and José Jalapeño on a Stick, over the next few years. The all-comedy network has signed Dunham to a wide-ranging, fully-integrated, multi-platform initiative which includes a series order, stand-up special, major-market stand-up tour, DVDs and a consumer products partnership.

The people have spoken and they love Jeff Dunham.  Those crazy crazy people.  Admittedly I still giggle at someone saying something is on a stick.

The super cool folks over at the Comedy Central Insider named The Comedy Nerds as one of the 100 Best Comedy Twitters.  Thanks so much guys.  We are totally following you too.  We’re like one big cyber family that communicates through short messages not aimed directly at anyone, really just screaming into the abyss hoping someone will listen and love us the way we need to be loved.  At last that’s what my family is like.  Who wants to come visit for Easter?  I promise it will be either passive aggressive or full on aggressive.

Click here to follow us on Twitter.

from flickr by Steve Rhodes

Punchline Magazine is reporting that Robin Williams is in intensive care for heart issues.  Heart issues ain’t no joke folks.  Hopefully all he needs is rest and some pills.  I have personally lost a family member to heart disease so the minute I hear about heart issues it makes me sad in…well, my heart.

I may have disagreed with some of his choices lately, but the man in a legend and has done so much for comedy.  From Comic Relief to an endless string of genuinely complex, heartwarming and hilarious movies and characters.    Who wants to go in on some flowers for his hospital room?

It’s a staple of any zany comedy movie.  A familiar pop culture character is doing whatever they do that annoys everyone (Britney Spears singing, Paris Hilton existing).  Then our comedy hero comes up and knocks them the f&%k out.  The audience laughs because they have always wanted to do that.  It’s cathartic (yeah I can use big words).  I admit it.  It’s funny, when it happens in a movie.  But the AP reports that someone thought it would be just hilarious to do in real life and in front of children.  Check it:

Metro bus driver Shawn Brim, 38, climbed off a bus, adjusted his side view mirrors and then punched officer Tyrone Hardy, who was handing fliers to children on a Washington street while dressed as the crime dog, police said. After the punch, Brim got back on the bus and drove away, but was quickly pulled over Saturday.  Brim later told a supervisor he was trying to be funny when he punched McGruff, who urges kids to “take a bite out of crime.”

Listen Shawn.  I get it.  Who hasn’t wanted to punch that sanctimonious crime pooch? (yeah, two big words.  Suck it)  It’s funny to think about.  It’s funny to picture in your mind.  But it is not funny to actually do it.  If you want to go ahead and tell a knock knock joke, fine (but please don’t).  If you want to tell everyone a long pointless story that for some reason you think is funny (but let’s face it, no else does) have at it.  But leave the comedy violence to the professionals because unless it’s happening on a stage or in a movie, its not comedy violence.  It’s just violence.  And violence isn’t funny…except this one time (thinks better of it and ends the post right here)

photo from flickr by jimw

In case you missed it last night, Jimmy Fallon made his Late Night debut and it was i am going to go with okay (remember I said it was going to suck, so that’s an upgrade).  It kicked off with an adorable sketch where Conan was still cleaning out his dressing room and totally called out the awkwardness of the fact that he won’t be moving into Leno’s dressing room because Leno is not actually going anywhere.  I’m a big fan of awkward comedy so bring on more of that Jimmy.

The monologue started weak (as let’s face it, all monologues are) until Jimmy began “slow jamming the news.”  Think The Daily Show’s parody of R Kelly’s Trapped In The Closet meets The News.   I am sure that will be a regular segment or at least I hope so since it seems to have gotten the best reaction in the world of blogs.  De Niro was not exactly the easiest first interview in the world (he neve said more than 6 words to any question Jimmy asked him).  Justin Timberlake made up for it, but only because Jimmy spent the whole time pimping him out to do impressions .  Finally Van Morrison performed and  I could not have cared less.  Did anyone else know he was still alive?

Overall Jimmy was cute but nervous.  Once he gets comfortable I am sure the show will be more fun.  My big disappointment was the sketches.  Jimmy had months to come up with some strong bits, but the ones that made the show were at best mildly entertaining.  He did a bit where he had people lick various things in the studio for $10 bucks (great idea for a public access show,  but maybe not a network late night show), did a video about blond mothers (which I am still not sure that the point of it was) and a really forced sketch with De Niro.  I’m willing to cut him some slack on monologues and interviews, but sketch comedy is his thing.  You gotta come correct with the sketches Jimmy.

Tina Fey is on tonight so I am sure she will help him make it work.  Tina makes everything work.

It was reported today by the likes of The Comic’s Comic and many others that Jerry Seinfeld (or Steinfeld as my dad like to call him.  Come on dad.  You would take a bullet for the man.  Get his name right.) is returning to NBC as creator of  a new show called “The Marriage Ref” which will be a collection of famous people making fun of couples as they go through marital troubles.

Jerry.  Jerry.  Jerry.  You had one of the greatest shows on television.  Ever!  Go away.  Don’t do this.  You don’t need the money.  America doesn’t need the show.  Hey.  Maybe the show will be entertaining.  Maybe it will even be really good.  But it will NOT be Seinfeld.  All of your co-stars have tried to come back.  THEY ALL FAILED!!!!!  (and don’t give me any “The New Adventures of Old Christine” is a success crap.  It’s generic sitcom 101.  They all know it.  It eats away at their souls.)

Jerry.  It’s time to say “I’m out.”

(or to make my dad happy.  Ask yourself why anyone would go from a pony country to a non pony country.)

In case you haven’t heard Andy Richter is coming back to Conan.  Well I mean to the Tonight Show (which is really just Late Night With Conan OBrien, just not as late night.)  He just got named as the announcer and will apparently appear in sketches as well.  That is awesome.  Finally the universe as answered one of my comedy prayers.  Now get to work on the one where The State, Mr. Show and The Kids In The Hall have a baby who grows immediately to my age and then the kid moves in next door and we become friends and create a show called “Super Kid (who’s not a kid) and Dustin”.  Make it happen universe.  Or else!!!!

Slate published an article about how Jeff Dunham became one of the biggest stand-ups in the country, which we talked about here. (Long story short: Puppets can say racist things and no one gets mad.)

The Hardest-Working Hand in Show Business

You’ve seen or heard Nick Kroll on the likes of Cavemen, The Life & Times of Tim, Worst Week and a whole lot more. Wednesday he stopped by Jimmy Kimmel. I love Nick Kroll (in every sense, I’ve got a life size poster in my bedroom. Don’t you judge me) so I wanted to make sure y’all saw this.

via videogum & davehill.com

Just two weeks ago I introduced the world to “Dustin’s Law” (stating that if something bad happens that after 20 years people can make fun of it, no matter how bad it is and not feel bad about it.) and today comes news of “David’s Law”.  Apparently Lindsay Robertson decided to jump on the bandwagon and go back in time several years and came up with David’s Law.  “David’s Law” – “Dustin’s Law” – Anyone else noticing a similarity?  Lindsay, I have to say, I find it more than just a little upsetting that you think it is perfectly okay to come up with a law several years before me about something completely different than my law and name it something similar to what I named my law in that they are both one word and they start with the letter “D”.

Apparently this is “David’s Law”:

“‘David’s Law’ makes it illegal for me, Lindsay Robertson, to speak to David Cross or any other public figure whom I admire (usually comedians, because I generally only admire funny people) unless introduced by someone else, directly spoken to, or if I already know them, or if it’s for work.”

The rule I believe has been expanded to include all people and was featured in ant article on Gothamist today.  Again, just two weeks after “Dustin’s Law”.  Very interesting.  But I guess I would suggest checking out the article and following “David’s Law” if you ever run into anyone famous, including me.  I’m famous.  Very famous.  You’re reading something I wrote.  That makes me famous, right?  Fine.  I’m not famous.  Fine.  I would actually prefer it if you came up and started a conversation with me as I am very shy.  Yes, you can buy me a drink but make sure it’s nothing too strong.  I get drunk easy.

We would be bad subjects if we didn’t wish a happy birthday to our king, the king of all Comedy Nerds, Patton Oswalt.  He turns 40 today.  Here’s what he had to say on his blog about it and the fear comedians have of progressing in life and not remaining the fun 20 something they were when they started out:

Comedians are a superstitious lot. We secretly fear things like irrelevancy and un-hipness in ways that only the excluded and left out can. We’re always afraid of things like marriage and children and “selling out”, as if these things are supernatural beings humming with a sort of Dark Magic, some force that will rob of us of our comedic mojo.

But watch people like Louis CK and Bill Cosby and Tina Fey. They get married and raise families, and just get better and more incisive and wise as every new dimension of life opens up to them. Irrelevancy can also befall the unmarried, ironic T-shirt wearing “rebels” who want life frozen at 22 forever.

I never really thought of it, but he’s right (or maybe I am getting older and just want to feel this way) but aging comedians do tend to get “it” more.  They can peel away a lot of what they were told to do and replace it with what they want to do.  It’s more honest and pulling from a place of much greater knowledge.  So in the entertainment industry where geting older is almost never your friend (unless you are Clint Eastwood for some reason.  Seriously, I am a completely straight married man and even I can see that he is just getting hotter) for a comedian it might very well make you stronger and better.  That’s why you’re the king Patton, that’s why you’re the king.

Hot off The State reunion at San Francisco Sketchfest comes the news that Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter just got the green light for a new show on Comedy Central called Michael & Michael Have Issues.

From Showalter’s Site:

This Fall Michael Ian Black and I made a TV pilot for Comedy Central and we just found out that it got picked up and now we’re going to make a TV show again! Yay! This means I get to spend hours alone in a room with Michael Ian Black and listen to his boring stories about being on “Ed.” Boo!

I personally could not be more excited about this show.  I’m excited.  I’m excited.  I’m excited.  Thank you Comedy Central.  (oh and Michaels if you are looking for another writer I can move some stuff around.  Seriously, I’ll find the time.)  (Also, Michael Ian Black, I loved Ed so much.  I will listen to your boring stories all day long.  Was Tom Cavanagh really as nice as he seems?  Can you believe the nerdy chick is on Big Love now?  She’s kind of hot now, right?  Ignore us everyone else, this just for me and MIB.  I can call you that, right Michael?)

Become their friend on MySpace.

The great folks over at Comedy Central Insider alerted me to this great Rolling Stone interview with The State.

The problem is that for years I have been desperate to hear their unreleased album “Comedy for Gracious Living”.  I’ve managed to hear two bootlegged tracks which were hilarious and extremely strange (sadly, the cops showed up at my door and I had to flush the tracks down the toilet).

But, after reading this interview I reeeeealllly freeeeaakinnnnn’ wannnnnna hear it! It sounds sooooo awesome!

No DVDs, no album, no reruns, their book is out of print. Seriously, The State has a massive and ever growing fan base and would make these media companies millions, but they just refuse to release their stuff. I don’t get it.

P.S. If someone has access to the whole album and wants to slip it to me, I have one of those safes that looks like bug spray now, so I promise not to flush it.

The Oscar nominations where just announced and in addition to 87 nominations for Doubt and The Curious Case of Brad Pitt Getting Hotter the academy showed a little love to comedy by nominating Robert Downey Jr. for an Oscar for Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

We can all agree that Tropic Thunder had it’s issues but Robert Downey Jr. was awesome in it.  True to his role he was the only true actor in the movie (also according to IMDB actually did stay in character the whole time too).  Rarely does the academy show any interest to anyone who’s not crying in every other scene and almost never for a white dude who is essentially in black face (notable exception was Jimmy Stewart in the 1953 original version of Soul Man.  He was breathtaking.)  Good job Oscar folks and congrats to Robert Downey Jr.  Also Heath Ledger got nominated in the same category.  Boy will I be sad when they both lose.

If there was one thing I learned from Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedian it’s that you should never ever open with new material (oh, but I really want to. No, it never works out like you think it’s going to. But this is really funny.  Stop it.)  That’s easy to do when you are doing a normal set, but at Tuesday night’s Neighborhood Ball Ray Romano had to do a whole set of one off jokes about the inauguration and what happened that day.  Maybe the audio mix was off or something, but it sounded like a bunch of jokes bombed.

Yes, some of the jokes were forced and some could have been thought out better, but come on folks.  This is the new America.  Somewhere right now Obama is inventing Unicorns and turning water into wine.  By tomorrow morning all the country’s problems will be solved.  You can’t through a couple of laughs Ray’s way?  He couldn’t really go down to Gotham Comedy Club and do his Obama Ball material.  Cut the guy some slack.  The mother-in-law joke was funny and his mom was watching.

Am I the only one who thought the audience gave him a tough time?  Also, am I the only one who pre-ordered an Obama Unicorn?

Photo from flick by Archman8

The Apple iPhone App store has 83 Applications that are based on farting.  The sounds of farts.  The detection of farts.  The virtual lighting of farts.  83 companies dedicated programming time to making fart applications.  At least 83 people earned a paycheck by carefully and meticulously recreating farts to bring them into the digital age.  Only 14 of those created apps are free.  69 of those apps cost money.  The 7th most downloaded paid app in the entire store is about farting. Hundreds of thousands of people paid thier hard earned money to download these because apprently they were sick of the tyranny of having to create thier own farts.  Gone are the days of having to plan ahead for a well timed fart.  Now BAM, farts on demand.  Don’t like the sound of this fart.  No problem there are 82 other options.

Listen, farts are funny.  People fart.  Everyone laughs.  But 83 different apps?  I greatly underestimated how much people like farts.

Check out The Apiary for a great interview by Keith Huang with comedian Kurt Braunohler.  Kurt talks about his pilot for “Penelope: Princess of Pets” with his partner Kristen Schaal.

We sold a pilot of the show to Channel 4 in London, and we’ll be going over there in May or June to shoot it. It will be a 30-minute pilot that essentially features me (as Kyle), Kristen Schaal (as Penelope) and Bret Gelman (as The Bird). Everyone else on the show will be British.

In a comedy community that can very often be bitter and jealous you would be hard pressed to find any comedian who is not pulling for Kurt and Kristen to succeed.  In addition to being committed to constantly putting on unbelievable performances they are two of the nicest people you will ever meet.  I think I speak for everyone in the comedy community when I say good luck, but come back soon.

Photo from flickr by thismeik

The Comedy Central Insider is reporting that in conjunction with their new season on HBO

“a new Flight of the Conchord’s song will be available on iTunes after each episode airs.”

and it all culminates with a new album officially being released at the end the whole thing.  First off, awesome about a new Conchords album.  Second off, thank god that all those monday morning comedian in everyone’s offices who thinks that saying funny that someone else said makes them funny will finally be able to just download the song and play it rather than trying to awkwardly describe and/or sing it.  I promise you not as funny as you think you are person in my office, you are are not doing the song justice and you should stop trying to get your “folk comedy on”.  Who even adds the “on” to the end of that statement.  I never thought I would say this, but thank you HBO.

I want to say a big THANK YOU to Videogum for alerting me to this. There is no comment that I could make that could prepare you for this video. Enjoy.

There are a bunch more on youtube.

Louis C.K. reports on his website that he’ll be doing a benefit for his oldest kids school PS3:

Public school is, to me, the most important thing in the whole world that actually exists…I feel very lucky to have my kid in a public school that really works (and I pay a lot of fucking rent to live near that school). This coming year, there are going to be a lot of cuts. A lot. I don’t want PS3 to lose more than it has to. So I’m doing a benefit at Carolines Comedy Club in New York on January 28th. Louis Feranda, the guy that runs Carolines, has been really really helpful, because I don’t know anything about doing a benefit. I’m just going to Carolines on the 28th, (7:30 show) and doing about an hour and ten minutes or more of my new material for everyone who comes to support the school. It’s one show only. I hope we raise a shitload of money.

That’s kind of awesome.  I have heard a lot of parents bitch about public schools and funding cuts.  This is literally the first time I have seen anyone do anything about it beyond a bake sale.  Apparently he’s a much better dad than most.  (not my dad though because he reads this website) Or maybe he just feels bad for spending the last few years making his money by calling his kids assholes.  (which I guess technically my dad has done also, only he didn’t make any money doing it.  He calls us kids assholes for free.)

CLICK HERE to check out Louis CK on The Sound of Young America

photo from flickr by animalvegetable

Punchline Magazine reports that Roseanne Barr “has launched a new weekly radio show on Los Angeles’ mega-progressive station KPFK 90.7 FM.”  They have her doing drive time every Wednesday.

Hey, couple of rhetorical questions here for ya.  Isn’t L.A. the home of road rage?  Isn’t Roseanne known for having a famously grating and irritating voice?  Isn’t putting a person with a super aggravating voice on during drive time in the most traffic filled and road ragey city in the world going to get people shot in the torso?  To spite the rhetoricalness of the questions I will give you the answer, yes, yes and YES.  For the love of Jebus, think of the children Roseanne.  Do you really need a radio show?  Can’t you just do a podcast like every other comedian?  That’s where all the money…woman…men…love…french fries..Fine,  do youy little show but when the bodies start piling up the blood will be on your hands.

By now most people have seen or heard about Fred Armisen’s impression of New York Governor David Paterson.  I’ve seen comments about it from comedians and from groups supporting the blind but not a legally blind comedian…until now.

First off, let me start by saying I am almost never offended.  I’ve never been bothered by Sarah Silverman, South Park or any other sort of cringe humor.  As a comedian I am very aware that, with limited exception, comedians use cringe humor to support the exact opposite of the words they are saying (a comedian who makes a rape joke is never actually supporting rape.  If they were, a responsible audience would be required to light them on fire and toast marshmallows over their charred flesh).  I am also aware that exaggeration is a big part of humor especially when it comes to impressions and parodies.   For example, if you are going to make fun of John McCain walking in front of the camera during the debates of course you are going to embellish it to make people laugh.  Just replicating it is both not funny and cheap.

All that being said, I was both annoyed and disappointed with Saturday Night Live and Fred Armisen.   I was completely on board when SNL made fun of him being amazingly unprepared for the job.  I was totally with them when they made fun of his drug use and extramarital affairs. (But let’s be honest, who wasn’t a little impressed that the same day he gets the job replacing a guy who quits because of hookers, he comes out with the fact that he was pretty much snorting coke off his secretaries ass while his wife was banging the UPS man).  I was cool with it all because those were all part of David Paterson’s national persona.  He has personally admitted to all of those things.  If you want to do a sketch where David Paterson is hosting a swinger sex party at 4:20 and slaps his neighbor’s wife’s ass while calling Elliot Spitzer to ask him what they hell is going on because he’s “freakin out man” , I will laugh my ass off at it.

But when Fred Armisen played up Paterson as a helpless clumsy person because he was blind, he went too far.  Yes, Paterson is in fact legally blind but he has never publically done anything similar to or derivative of what appeared in Weekend Update. That is why I think it was insulting.  When Armisen portrayed Paterson that way he wasn’t poking fun at Paterson, he was making fun of blind people.  There was nothing that the Governor has done that Armisen was lampooning.  It was simply a way for him to get cheap laughs at the expense of people with a disability.  He wasn’t trying to prove the opposite point either.  If you were left with the feeling that Armisen was trying to get across to the audience that blind people are just as capable of taking on responsibilities such as Governor as anyone else (which they are) it would have been okay.  But instead he was using the fact that Paterson is blind to argue why he is not capable of governing successfully.

As a recently legally blind individual, of course I am more sensitive to the subject.  I battle every day with things others take for granted (like avoiding walking full on into parking meters.  I swear those things come out of nowhere).  I struggle to maintain an outward appearance of being capable and confident.  If someone wants to attack me, it better be a good joke.  I once saw a sketch group called Fearsome do a sketch where they had two blind people accidently walk into each other and have a fight because neither realized that the other was blind.  That was funny.   It was an original idea.  It asked an interesting question and it was well done.  Was it a joke done at the expense of the blind?  Maybe.  But it didn’t insult them or make them look bad for no other reason than because they can’t see like everybody else.  That’s what SNL did.  As a legally blind person I was insulted.  As a comedian I was disappointed.

Can somebody please send so flowers to Conan O’Brien?  He was sooooo close.  Just when is seemed like Jay was going to hand off The Tonight Show and walk off into the sunset comes the news that he will starting up a whole new show 5 nights a week and in prime time.  While it won’t technically be the The Tonight Show, it will be The Tonight Show just and an hour and half earlier.

So what does this mean for all the late night shows?  Could this be the start of something big for comedy?  Why is Jay Leno always in the middle of controversy?  Will anyone watch 43 consecutive hours of late night talk shows?

[podcast]http://www.thecomedynerds.com/wp-content/podcasts/Episode_29_-_Not_So_Late_Night_Controversy.mp3[/podcast]

I am an unapologetic Andy Kaufman fan. I say unapologetic because some people will say “I liked when he did such-and-such, that was funny, but I don’t like blah-blah-blah”. Not me. I love it all. Wrestling women? Yes. Reading “The Great Gatsby”? Hilarious. Getting up on stage and singing “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall”? I’ll take that and go back for seconds, thank you very much. Sorry, but everything he did was brilliant. Wait. I said I was unapologetic then I said I was sorry. I confused myself.

Anyway, the Onion’s A.V. Club runs a fantastic feature where they review classic SNL episodes one by one. This week features a clip of one of my all time favorite Kaufman bits. He starts by playing the bongos and singing in a made-up language. Then he segues into doing a stand-up routine, still talking total nonsense. He is masterful in the way he nails the cadence and body language of stand-up without any of the content. A lesser artist might have done this bit, but made the comedian terrible. Kaufman smartly chooses to make it seem like this routine might actually be pretty funny if we could understand it.

It’s just brilliant the way he says, um and uh and draws out the first words of sentences, just like you do when you are searching for the next thing to say, and how he quickly back pedals after presumably insulting a woman in the first row. You can’t understand a word, yet you know exactly what is happening. In a four-minute clip, he manages to satirize not just stand-up comedy and language, but ultimately the human condition. Plus, he’s pretty good at the bongos and he dances.

Yeah, this is about as good as it gets. And it’s pretty damn good.

http://www.avclub.com/content/tvclub/classic_saturday_night_live/mary

-Dan

Last night Ricky Gervais’ stand up comedy special Out Of England aired on HBO.  It was mostly funny and he was, of course, charming as usual.  When you take into consideration that Gervais hasn’t been doing stand-up on such a big stage for very long, I would say he did a great job.

However¹, what stuck out to me the most, perhaps because I am a comic, is just how often he looked at his notes.   For the casual viewer he covered it by walking behind a small podium on stage where he had his beer² (and his notes).  It was an old trick taught to me by Tommy Koenig.   Take a drink and look at the notes on your napkin.  No one is the wiser.  Cool little trick…if you do it once.  Ricky did it literally every 2 minutes.  It was distracting.  Even people who didn’t know about the trick had to be thinking to themselves, “Man, I didn’t know anyone liked Fosters that much³.”

The reason I object to it is that as a stand up performer it’s important to set up a feeling of being “in the moment”.  The performer is having a conversation with the audience not giving a speech.  Admittedly, my longest set to date was 30 minutes, but I made the whole way without looking at my notes once, let alone 15 times.

Listen, the audience knows that comic wrote the material in advance⁴.  The comic knows he wrote it in advance.   But we made an agreement to pretend like all of this material is coming out ether and being presented for the first time.   Ever time a comic has to stop and look at his notes it destroys the illusion.  The illusion is very imporant⁵.

I think Ricky Gervais is a very smart and talented comedic mind.  The Office (BBC version) was an amazing show.  Extras was an amazing show.  His special was great.  But I was disappointed that he did such an amateur thing in his show.  Also, I agree with some other people who said his stuff on overweight people was a little harsh⁶.

¹You knew with me there was going to be a however didn’t you.
²Fosters is Australian for cheating.^7
3For the record, Australians don’t like Fosters.  Just because it’s a tag line in Australia doesn’t make it true in Australia.
⁴But the one’s that don’t are adorable.  You just wanna hug ‘em.
⁵That’s why Guns N’ Roses made a two albums about it.^8
6Knowing full well that the first time I did stand up and the now defunct Boston Comedy Club that I did a few very similar jokes but I was 20 so cut me a little slack.
⁷Please excuse me for making a Fosters joke.  It was just so hard⁹ not to in this case.
⁸Use Your Illusion I and II, incase you were not following.
⁹That’s what she said.  Damn it.

Photo for thumbnail from mistersnappy.

Yesterday it was rumored (perhaps confirmed) that Fox has canceled TV’s sketch comedy Red Headed Bastard Step-Child MADtv.  While I know this left a lot of people saying “MADtv was still on?  Really? And that guy who plays Stuart was still on the show?  That is so sad.”  Yep. But now Michael McDonald finally gets to rest.  For the record I think he is funny, but I mean come on, 10 years of playing the same character?  Okay if you are on a sitcom, bad if you are on a sketch show.

So what does that mean for late night sketch comedy.  I argue that it is both very good for sketch comedy and very bad.  Here’s why:

GOOD RIDDANCE MADtv

If you really break down what made the two shows different (other than the history that SNL had, the better hosts and better musical performers) was that they each took a very different approach to sketch comedy.  MADtv has taken a very character driven approach to sketch comedy.  Over the years, they have had of course Stuart, that Troll under the bridge character, The Sneaky Snakes Guy, Mrs. Swan and many many more.  They were funny, but they brought them back again and again and again.

On the other hand SNL has done a solid blend of character comedy, premise based comedy, and of course, the comedy staple pop culture parody.  So the fact that they have outlasted MADtv tells me that audiences cast their vote for smarter comedy.   SNL simply uses more tools to make you laugh.  They take bigger chances.  They require you to come with certain knowledge about what’s going on in the world. (I just want to say that it wasn’t always that way.  When MADtv first started they came up with some of the best premises I have ever seen, but something changed.)

To me it’s a good sign for the state of sketch comedy in the country.  Thank you America, for partially renewing my faith in you.

AMERICA NEEDS YOU MADtv:

You can’t have monopolies in this country (or Strategoes for that matter).  They screw everything up.  Whenever you only have one player in the game they know they don’t really have to try all that hard to win because…well, they already won.  MADtv wasn’t much competition but they were out there pushing SNL to do a better show to keep their audience (although it really helped them that they could get McCain, Palin, and Tina Fey during this whole election thing and that was more of a freebie they got by virtue of the shows history).
Now SNL knows that there really isn’t anything else to watch Saturday Night, so get ready for a bunch of sketches with Good Burger in drag and Andy Sandberg fighting people with Laser Cats.  Maybe MADtv wasn’t the best show, but something needs to be there.

Most people agree that SNL is a comedy institution but if the show is allowed to rest on it’s reputation then it will only get worse.

On a completely unrelated note, Hey guys at Fox, I have a really good sketch comedy group named The Resistance and Dan also had a very entertaining sketch group named Secret Hospital (although let’s be honest Dan, The Resistance is better). So you know, if you are looking to fill any programming holes, we’re available.

The Apiary has posted a very helpful Comedy Flowchart, combining two of my passions, comedy and charts that flow.

http://www.theapiary.org/archives/2008/08/to_everyone_who.html